Oscar Outlaws

In cased you missed the Oscars, or went to sleep because let's face it they went on, and on, and on... you missed some major do's and don'ts. (At this point I will make a disclaimer that I only half tuned in. I saw red carpet and then the good awards. I spent most of my Sunday wrapped up in LMN Killer Sunday movies). So here's my list of Oscar Outlaws and their offenses:


Sasha Baron Cohen. Yes he showed up to walk the carpet promoting his new movie The Dictator. In his entourage, Kim Jong il's ashes, that's right his ashes, which promptly landed all over one Ryan Seacrest. Offense: Dumping ashes without a permit.

Angelina Jolie. Holy Slit! Did you see her post up to hand out award, oh wait you missed it, or her? That's right she was barely there. Those skeletar arms and subzero waist had people talking. Offense: failure to EAT

Emma Stone. Can I just say that I love her? She's just to me the Julia Roberts of our day. Cute, girl next door with a radiant smile. And her in red? LOVE! Also loves her skit, too prec! Offense: Being just too darn cute for words.

J.Lo. Hello Mama! Loved her gown. Classy, hit all her curves and sported the ever so popular shoulder cut-out look. Offense:Too Fab Too Fail
Cameron D. Ok so I was not loving her hair, and no one looks that smooth with a good pair of spanks, but I still love her. Offense: Going Nude!

The Show: Ok, so when has the Oscars been about the movies? Yeah I was sad that most of the show was spent with montages, stand-up, and performances, and not so much about well the movies. Isn't this after all the night to celebrate the theatre? So what does Cirque du Soleil have to do with it? (I love me some Cirque, but come on at the Oscars?) I hate that half the speeches are cut short and the honorees feel rushed. Maybe a little less flash and more time to shine for the stars. Offense: Stealing the Spotlight.

These are just a few of my thoughts on the offenses of the night. I also apparently need to see The Artist and Midnight in Paris. Who do you think made the best or worst Oscar Outlaw, let me know. ~The Illegal Blonde

My Inner Party Girl

Hi my name is Illegal Blonde and I'm a closet party girl. Ok, so I used to be one. You know that go out at 10:30 pm, in some combo of short skirt, or low cut top, drinking oh so bad for you high in sugar drinks and waking up the next morning regretting the 2am taquito, party girl. But then I went to law school. And I know you have heard the stories of law school kids gone bad, but I was not that girl. I was 25 when I started law school, and I was honestly over the party scene. Sure I ventured out a few nights,  but law school was more a job for me than just what I did after undergrad. So, sometimes I feel like life ended at 1L.

So, needless to say I was a tad excited for a night out. I'm pretty sure my last night out was my wedding reception. Seriously, how sad is that? But between buying a house, studying for the bar, and then beginning my job, I have been tired. 9-10 hour days make me want to curl up and sleep on the weekends. So I was kind of excited when we were invited for a birthday dinner and outing for a friend. And then I realized, I have the wardrobe of an old lady. Ok, so may not grandma, but when you work in the law world your wardrobe has more suits and slacks than body hugging skirts and dresses. So after obsessing over what I would wear because let's face it, my closet does not compare to the wives of his friends (i'm a lil jealous of theirs..) we were off!

I was back in my element. The 22 year old in me was beaming from ear to ear! A few mambo taxis later and I was great! I mean I only made like 3 law jokes that no one got and only noticed like 2 potential lawsuits as I walked into the club. But there I was dancing the night away! To say I needed this was an understatement.

I wish I could say we stayed and closed the joint down, but alas no. Although we were in bed and snuggled up by 1, we had a blast! I have not laughed, cried, and shaken my toosh in a long time. This little lawyer let go! Now, off to breakfast to recoup. Happy Sunday Funday all! ~The Illegal Blonde

Rihanna: Role Model or Example?

On the eve of the Grammy's three years ago Chris Brown beat his girlfriend Rihanna. It was the hit heard 'round the world. But here we are three years later and rumors are flying that the two have reconciled and may getting back together. I  have mixed feelings on this issue. Part of me says, girl what the HE double hockey sticks are you thinking? and the other part of my understands because I watched my mother do this time and time again. Abusers are like a freaking magnet people! They suck you in, attach to you like an amoeba.

The truth is abuse is colorblind, gender neutral, and not class-biased. Its comes in all shapes and sizes. It may not show up in the form of a bruise on one's face, but a bruise on the heart. It takes a toll on more than the victim, it affects family members, friends, and children. You see children, those tiny people who witness abuse become a part of a cycle. That abuse is tattooed on them like a rose. Children, our most precious gift are the ones that perhaps suffer the most.

Children who either suffered abuse or come from abusive homes are more likely to suffer from emotional, cognitive, or social difficulties later in life. During the formative years of a child's life, they saw abuse. They did not learn that adults are supposed to love and nurture you. They do not learn what healthy relationships are. They do not learn how to express emotions and feelings in an appropriate way. No one gave them the tools to be functioning adults.

And those children who grow up to be "normal," they are the lucky ones. See children from abusive homes do not have to grow up to  be abusers themselves, or crazy, or have bad relationships. With the help of protective factors (thing I learned about today, thanks BFF), these kids can grow into successful adults. We can stop the cycle of childhood delinquency by being there for kids. Its being a role model, lending a helping hand, supporting these kids with community.

I was lucky. I was surrounded by protective factors. I had V, and a whole slew of people who built me up, showed me how to be a smart, successful person. Did I have ups and downs along the way, yeah, everyone does. Did I revert back to what I learned as a kid, yeah. But I someone around me to always give me a swift kick in the butt and put me back on the right path. I was protected.

So back to Rihanna. Our children look up to her. Pop star, gorgeous, but what are we teaching our kids when she gets back with her abuser? Are we telling kids its ok to hit someone and then make up? Are we showing them what a healthy relationship is? Is she a role model or an example of the cycle?

If you or someone you know is the victim of abuse, seek help. Don't be ashamed, or embarrassed. Help end the cycle. Be the change you want to see in the world. ~The Illegal Blonde

High Heels in the Courtroom

Ok, so I have not actually been in a courtroom other than when I interned or watched hearings, but my point is, its tough to be a woman in a male-dominated office, and profession for that matter. While its true that women are graduating in higher numbers from law school than men, the law is still predominalty a man's domain.

I feel like I have to be better, faster, more efficient. Autopsies cannot gross me out, I cannot get emotionally attached to the cases, and even when I am stressed, tired, and bloated, I cannot cry.  I have to show that I am as strong and smart as they are.  Write the best motions, draft the best discovery, and summarize a depo like its nobody's business! And do this all while putting myself together every morning and looking the part, but not too sexy, or young, but too old, or frumpy... (you'd be amazed at how much thought goes into my wardrobe).

Add to this stress, the fact that I am a wife. I still have to cook, clean, and make sure hubs doesn't walk out of the house in shorts when its 32 degrees (which he does). And someday, yes someday I want to have kids. At 29, my maternal instincts are screaming at me. But how does that affect work?

Being a woman with a career is hard, but being a woman-lawyer is even harder. You are expected to be tough like a man, but gentle enough that a jury will like you. I  have to gain respect from my peer without being a bitch. I am friends with the administrative staff, but I am still over them. I struggle with the line between confidant and cocky everyday.

Fear not though ladies (women, females, whatever term you choose) its OK to be a woman in the courtroom. Recognize your strengths, speak your mind, and set boundaries. Know that men and women inherently are different: we approach life from a different angle. Men and women seek answers in different ways, and that is ok. Just because you don't skin the cat the same way as your male counterpart, does not man the result is not as good.


So, here I am in my high, but not so high that I look like a stripper, female working her way towards the courtroom, one step at a time. ~The Illegal Blonde

Does Your Job Make the World a Worse Place?

I recently read an article from the NY Times about people who thought their jobs made the world a worse place to live. Topping off the list? Fast-food worker. No suprise, but what surprised me? Fashion designer? How on earth can they say they make the world a worse place? (ok I get it, they put these designs out there which costs a gazzilion dollars and make people materialistic, blah, blah) but come on, a world with no fashion, now that makes the world a worse place. But, yes you guessed it, law jobs were on the list: legal secretary and senior attorney.

I pondered this for a good 10 minutes. I can see how the senior attorney (aka partner) makes the world a worse place; they charge more per hour, they bring in cases, they abuse poor associates and secretaries ( I kid mine don't...), but legal secretaries? How on earth do they thinl they contribute to the worsening of America?

 I for one LOVE my secretary. She makes me look good! She puts up with listening to my bad dictation, edits my letters, reminds me what day of the week it is, and well frankly is like my mom at work (here honey don't you think you should do this....). It's sad to me that they think they make the world a worse place. I get that they contribute to the success of the attorney, they back us up, do what is needed to get the case won! But is that a bad thing? I mean not all attorneys are money hungry, scum suckers, right?

Take those who work for legal aid, the public defender, DAs for example. Or my law bestie who is a mitigator for capital offenders. These lawyers who tirelessly for those who cannot afford representation, and often make WAY less than big firm lawyers. I'm not saying that what I do does not contribute to the greater good, but what I am saying is that lawyers get a bad rap, and now apparently we are admitting it.


So, what do you do? Do you make a the world a worse place? Just remember, your job does not define you. Your job make suck, but you don't have to. ~The Illegal Blonde

Life's Genres

I have a calendar in my office that has quotes\sayings\verses each month. My wonderful best friend gave it to me for Christmas because it reminded her of our law school carrell which was decorated with inspiring quotes and thoughts (and the occasional gripe or wine). This months quote is:

LIFE IS ISN'T DIVIDED INTO GENRES. IT'S A HORRIFYING, ROMANTIC, TRAGIC, COMICAL, SCIENCE-FICTION COWBOY DETECTIVE NOVEL." -Alan Moore

For well, the past 20 days I have misread this quote and left out the isn't, and kept thinking, well ok.... until today as I looked closely at it and read the "n't" into it and when, ah! It's funny because most of us classify out days into categories; good, bad, great, awful, wonderful... you get the point. But the truth is its not the days that matter, its the grander scheme of things. When I look back at my life, I don't remember each day on its own (except for those really special ones) I see this amazing technicolor roller coaster of events that have shaped me.

Only you hold the key to the book of your life. So make every word, page, and chapter count. Write the best science-fiction cowboy detective novel you can. ~The Illegal Blonde

You Know You're a Lawyer When____

• you spend your Saturday and Sunday talking to yourself, aka dictating depo summaries
• your husband calls you from work and immediatley says, start the clock
• your dreams involve all your cases warped into one crazy scene
• the last book you've read is the O'Connor's and the Arkansas Rules of Court
• The first blog you read in the morning is Above The Law and The Bitter Lawyer
• The guys at the coffee places knows what kind of day you had by the type of coffee you order
• when your kickboxing instructor says picture someone's face, you picture that memo on the mundane piece of law you researched hours

Have a great week everyone! Keep calm and litigate on! ~The Illegal Blonde

Fabulous Friday

Like the new icon? Designed courtesy of my friend Cristina at Is There a Doctor in the House? post about how to make your own printable art! Anywho, in light of the well rather drab weather outside and the still not so great news concerning my Frogs, I thought I would be random and give you all 5 fabulous things about this week (or weekend).

you better believe I had a chocolate covered strawberry!

1. One of the runners at our firm is a fabulous baker.... as in went to pastry school fabulous! She made this incredible chocolate fudge cake for our February birthday celebration and let's just say I was in a slight chocolate coma yesterday afternoon! Check her out at Costanzo's Confections on facebook!
2. Chick-fil-a.... yeah I said its fabulous! I know this may sound lame, but Tuesday, ya know V-day... I got home after a workout and just wanted some Chick-fil-a.... so yummy chicken in my tummy!
3. The Namby Pamby Blog! This Chicago attorney has been cracking me up all week and well one day when I actually do real things at work, I hope to write like her.
4. This fabulous Kate Spade shirt that I am trying to justify buying... cute yes, worth the $$ hmmmm
5. Reconnecting with people. It's well, fabulous. Ya never know how much talking to someone from your past, can well  make your day!

Have a great Friday everyone, I hope its FABULOUS! ~The Illegal Blonde

Frog Update

Only because sources recently reported that only 5 football playeres tested postiviely for marijuana, do I feel the need to post. Do I think even 1 should test positive, no, but 5 out of a team of 91.... I'd love to hear anyone's comments on this topic. ~The Illegal Blonde

Comrades True

I debated on whether or not to address the recent  arrests at my alma mater and decided that it was my duty to speak to a University that did so much for me. First and foremost I am saddened by the recent arrest of 17 students at TCU for dealing drugs. I am, however, proud of my alma mater for taking a stance against drugs use on campus and for have the class to address the issue openly and publicly. Our campus family was humbled yesterday. So many of those that are a part of the TCU family often forget that our university, although special in our eyes, is no different than any other college or university in the nation. We are not immune to the everyday trials and tribulations of American society. The truth is the use of drugs on college campuses is on the rise and TCU is not alone in dealing with this problem. As the pressure rises to maintain GPAs and excel on and off the field, students have turned to prescription drugs and recreational drugs to relax and have a good time. It is an epidemic.

Prayer vigil held on campus last night

I admit when I attended TCU I knew that people used drugs and could tell you which Greek organizations were known for drugs use. Did I see it used openly, no, did I know if it was sold on campus or close to, no, but I chose not to affiliate myself with people who used and sold drugs--that does not mean it did not happen. I did know students who abused alcohol, had eating disorders, and had other issues. I still left TCU with a sense that my University was different. TCU fosters a relationship between its faculty, students, and staff that I feel not many other universities do. I know I left with a slight over-glorified perception of the TCU experience. Its just something you do not understand unless you went there. I truly believe that the University strives to instill in its students its mission statement: "To educate individual to think and act as ethical leaders and responsible citizens in the global community."

TCU students come together in time of sorrow

So as much as I am saddened by the news, I am also proud to be a TCU alumna. I applaud University administration and police for taking an active role in this situation. How the University has handled this situation speaks volumes for the University. The true test of character is how you handle your downfalls and mistakes. Chancellor Boschini and the police chief, as well as Gary Patterson have been forthcoming, honest, and have not shied away from media attention. I truly believe this institution has the healthy, safety and well-being of all its students to think of. This proactive step to apprehend and remove toxic students from the campus is about showing the campus, state, and nation that TCU will not tolerate this kind of behavior on campus regardless of who you are. As was stated by Boschini, this is not a student-athlete problem, although the media has harped on this point, this is a bigger issue. So thank you TCU for being the University I know and love. Thank you for caring about the health and safety of your students, your family. "Light of faith, follow through, Hail to the, T C U." ~The Illegal Blonde

Me with the colorguard in 2003

Contraception Conundrum

If you have turned on the TV or scrolled through the Internet, then you have probably seen the recent news about Obama's contraception compromise and the Catholic church. In case you have missed the debate, the Catholic church is opposed to Obama's recent push to have birth-control and other sterilization covered by insurance for non-profit religious based organizations. This mandate has caused quite the stir in the Catholic church, which is opposed to birth control. The Catholic church believes that using birth control closes a man and woman off from sharing in God’s creation of life, it is also that using birth control closes the couple off from a full expression of love, which is total self-giving and the commitment to stay together, regardless of what life brings. The Church has stood by its teachings, and with the recent Obama mandate to force the Church to provide birth control to its employees, the Church is up in arms. The Church argues that this breaches freedom of religion. Obama has changed his tune a little and said that some religious organizations may be able to opt-out of the requirements.

As a Catholic who is pro-choice and supports the use of birth control (I know I may be excommunicated soon) I feel torn. I understand the Church's stance that it should not be forced to provide something to its employees which it is morally opposed to. On the other hand, shouldn't everyone be able to have access to birth control  regardless of where they work? (Yes I know there are those of you who say well they do not have to work for the church.... not the point here people.) The truth is, whether we like it or not, more and more teens, young adults, and adults are engaging in unprotected sex. Not that I condone this practice, but come one, haven't we all at one time or another done something stupid and were thankful we had access to contraception.

I remember having abstinence education in high school and thinking, people you have missed the boat, most of us have already "given away our gift," and for those that haven't telling us its a gift is not going to keep us from doing it. The truth is no matter how much we speak of waiting, most teens are having sex, so why not give them access to make sex safer. I could speak to the way conservative of you and say think about it: do we want more pregnant teens/young adults who are not ready and able to care for a child who will now require federal and state assistance, or would you rather make birth control available to those people and possibly avoid an unwanted, unplanned pregnancy and perhaps an eventual public assistance nightmare (more than we currently have). The argument goes both ways: Should the government force something on those whose religious beliefs are morally juxtaposed to it, or should we look at the bigger picture and say he we can avoid more people on public assistance?

Others argue that the debate is about more than sex, its about health. I for one know of lots of ladies who are on birth control for more than contraceptive purposes: acne, cramps, emotional instability... the reasons run the gamut. The point: should insurance companies be required to cover the cost of birth control?  This is not about morals, family values, or even religious beliefs, its about whether the government can force private companies to  pay for something--simply put its not a religious debate, its a political one with a religious opinion.

So, how do you feel? Should insurance companies be required to cover contraception? ~The Illegal Blonde

The Real Valentine's Day

Ahh, its Valentine's Day--the day to celebrate romance and love and kissy-face fealty. The origin of this fabulous day are somewhat dark, bloody and muddled. Though there is no one pinpoint on the origin of the blessed day, we should begin where so many great things began--with the Romans. The days is rumored to have begun with what else? men hitting on women... literally.

A drawing depicts the death of St. Valentine — one of them, anyway. The Romans executed two men by that name on Feb. 14 of different years in the 3rd century A.D.

From Feb. 13 to 15, the Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. Men sacrificed a goat and a dog, then whipped women with the hides of the animals they had just slain. These Roman "romantics" were drunk and naked. (Talk about punch-drunk love). And of course in true womanly fashion, these women would actually line up for the men to hit them beleiving it would make them fertile (we do anything for babies, right?).

The "festival" included a matchmaking lottery, where young men drew the names of "lucky"women from a jar and the couple would then be, well,  coupled up for the duration of the festival (or longer, if the match was right).

The ancient Romans may also be responsible for the name of our modern day of love. Historians show show that Emperor Claudius II executed two men — both named Valentine — on Feb. 14 of different years in the 3rd century A.D. Valentine's martyrdom was honored by the Catholic Church with the celebration of St. Valentine's Day. (Gotta love us Catholics and our Saints). Although Pope Gelasius I later muddled things in the 5th century by combining St. Valentine's Day with Lupercalia (the "hitting festival") to expel the pagan rituals, but  byt then the festival was more of a theatrical interpretation of what it had once been. One historuan noted, "It was a little more of a drunken revel, but the Christians put clothes back on it. That didn't stop it from being a day of fertility and love."

Around the same time, the Normans celebrated Galatin's Day. Galatin meant "lover of women." That was likely confused with St. Valentine's Day at some point, in part because they sound alike.

 

As the years went on, the holiday grew sweeter. Chaucer and Shakespeare romanticized it in their writing, and it gained popularity throughout Britain and the rest of Europe. Handmade paper cards became the symbol in the Middle Ages. Eventually, the tradition made its way to the New World. The industrial revolution ushered in factory-made cards in the 19th century. And in 1913, the illustrious Hallmark Cards of Kansas City, Mo., began mass producing "valentines." February has not been the same since.

Today, the holiday is big business: According to market research firm IBIS World, Valentine's Day sales reached $17.6 billion last year; this year's sales are expected to total $18.6 billion. But that commercialization has spoiled the day for many. I mean come on people, if we do not indugle Hallmark, the "holiday" ends! (I wish).

And so the celebration of Valentine's Day will go on, celebrated every which way from Sunday. Millions will be spent in jewelry, flowers, cards, candy, dinner, and lingerie (a man can hope right?). Others will celebrate in a SAD (that's Single Awareness Day) way, dining alone and binging on self-gifted chocolates. (15% of women will send themselves flowers on Valentine's day, so much for women's lib....) A few may even be spending this day the same way the early Romans did.( But let's not go there.)

So,  no matter how you chose to spend today, or what you decide to give your Valentine, remember, it could be worse ladies, you could be beaten with dead animal hide or you could have been alive during the infamous St. Valentine's Day Massacre... single doesn't sound so bad now, huh? Here's to hoping you spend the day not thinking of love lost, or your relationships status on facebook, but rather be blessed you do not live in the time of the Romans. Happy V Day Everyone! ~The Illegal Blonde

All You Need is Love

Yea I know its cliche and all, but I am a sucker for it... LOVE. And before you all think I am about to delve into some mushy story about how I love storybook romances and have always wanted the fairytale, I am talking about the love you feel when surrounded by family and friends. Yesterday I was lucky enough to get to celebrate the life of Nannie. Now she is not my nannie, and you guessed it, I am not even related to this woman by blood or marriage, but the joy I felt when she started to sing Happy Birthday to Me... is indescribable. Nannie is amazing, she is happy, loving, and just about the most fashionable lady I know! So it should be no surprise that about 20 people, lots of whom are not related to her, gathered yesterday to celebrate her 88 years... though she would be quick to remind you that her birthday is technically Tuesday.

The Birthday Girl

Valentine's Card Time

As I stood around Mrs. M's kitchen yesterday and looked around, I was reminded how much love can do. I saw the love between husband and wives, most of whom have been married once and for many year. I saw the love between siblings, mother and child, friends, cousins and the love between friends. The people in that room share a love for each other that is like no other. It warms your body on a cold day and refreshes your soul after a tough week. It is proof that All You Need is Love. ~The Illegal Blonde

Friends

Fabulous Friday

So I sat and thought about what to write today. I pondered over interesting legal things I learned this week (Pregnancy Discrimination), stress over missing answers to RFA (found), girl time (see yesterday's post), or more on Prop 8 ( I did write an entire comment about Same-Sex Divorce), but I decided I would just do a Fabulous Friday wrap-up and tell you 5 things about me that you probably don't know!

1. I am scared to talk on the phone. I'm not talking about people I know, but I do mean calling doctors, hair salons, clients, yeah pretty much anyone other than my friends and family. I mean sweaty pits, red-face, full-on fear of calling people.
2. I have had three official last names. That's right people, on marriage three last names. I was born with one, then my mom remarried and we changed, then I graduated from college and changed it back to the first one, and now I am married. Oh, and for a while I had to hyphenate so I guess yeah I've had 4 last names.
3. I'm clumsy! This may come as a suprise to those of you who know me well. I mean I was a dancer, baton twirler, pageant girl (hello 5 inch heels), but since moving into our new house I have managed to: walk into the bedroom door, face plant in the hallway, slam my finger in the pantry door, roll my ankle walking to the garage, and burn myself at least a dozen times.
4. I'm quick to anger and quick to forget. Surprised anyone? Yes this meek little blonde has a bit of a temper. But I hate when people are mad at me or I am mad, so I am always the first one to say I'm sorry, even when I'm not.
5. It's 11:11 on my clock and I ALWAYS make a wish... no joke I do!

Have fabulous Friday all! Bundle up, drink hot chocolate and enjoy the company of loved ones. ~The Illegal Blonde

P.S. Sneak on over to my friend Katie's new Blog!

LITB

In August of 2001 I was an eager freshman at TCU and doing what all TCU girls do I went through Rush (or Recruitment as they call it now). I admit I had no idea what the whole Greek system was about as my mom was not in a sorority and I know that V was, but I just did it. There were sweat and tears, literally we walked from house to house in like 100 degree weather, and I cried my eyes out when I got a bid. I was less than excited to find out who my knew "sisters" were going to be, but after I met my Big I was convinced this was it. Little did I know what a HUGE impact Alpha Chi Omega would have on my life. I know it sounds cliche, but you really do form a bond with the ladies, and I still have that bond, which was evident last night.

In progress

I wrote a couple weeks ago about having a case of the blahs, and I realized it was the lack of good quality girl time. So when I saw that my sorority alumna group was doing an event as Let's Art Party, I was stoked. For those of you who have no clue what that is, its basically a party with wine, good friends, and learning to paint! (Cue your inner PBS painting guy with his "happy little trees"). When I arrived it was nice to walk into a room where I saw familar faces, was greeted with hugs, and felt loved. It was as if I never left the sorority house. We chatted for a bit over wine and nibbles, introduced ourselves to sisters we did not know and ones that were not from our chapter. It was so great to hear about weddings, births, graduations, and accoplishments in general.

Finished Product

But once the painting began, we all reverted back to our inner co-ed. We laughed and giggled our way through a cute painting that incorporated our sorority symbols. Our advisor quizzed us on our memory the symbolic meaning of such things... yeah Paula of course we remember.... By the end of the evening, not only had I rekindled old friendships, I was rejuvenated! I was beaming from ear to ear and ready to take on the world. There is just something about being around people who have watched you grow and become the woman you are today that makes you feel... well home. Not to mention I LOVED this place! I was ready for another event, another painting!!

AXO Alumna


In theese days of social media, texting, and messaging, its easy to forget how important and essential friendships are. A hug goes a lot further than a smiley emoticon, and a smile from someone who generally cares about you is so much better in person. So grab your girlfriends, sisters, & moms some wine and have a good 'ole fashioned girls nite! You will be amazed at the wonder it does for the soul. ~LITB The Illegal Blonde



one of my bridesmaids & sorority sisters





sorority sisters at my wedding  including my Big & Little

Whimsical Wednesday Wrap-Up

I received this in an email and made me laugh! Just what I needed to get over the Hump Day slump!

DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING: 

Dear Abby,
     A couple of women moved in across the hall from me.  One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties.  These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment.  Do you think they could be Lebanese?

 
Dear Abby,
     What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence on My VCR?

Dear Abby,
     I have a man I can't trust.  He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

Dear Abby,
     I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years.  It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby,
     I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.


Dear Abby,
     Our son writes that he is taking Judo.  Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world.  I've seen it.  Now how do I get out?
 

 Dear Abby,
     My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years.  He must be crazy.

Dear Abby,
     I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.
 
Dear Abby,
    My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is going through mental pause.

Dear Abby,
     You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor.  Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor.  Now what do I do? 

 

                         Remember these people are breeding and can vote!!    

Prop 8 Debate

So in case you have been in a hole somewhere for the last 24 hours, then let me fill you in: The Ninth Circuit upheld the lower courts ruling the Prop 8 is unconstitutional!!! This does not mean that there will be a sudden rush of same-sex marriages in California, as there is much more legal mumbo-jumbo that has to occur before its official. The ruling, however, is important nonetheless. It's a step in the right direction towards equal rights. Ironic that this ruling came down the same day that I wrote about the sanctity of marriage. Ironic that in an age of quicky marriages and divorces we deny people the same rights. I know plenty of same-sex couples who have been in committed relationships for longer than some marriages. Yet in our country we deny these people the same rights as heterosexual couples.

Sure you can argue that the Bible says marriage is a union between one man and one woman, but hello people this is the USA. Home of seperation of church and state. Marriage, although traditionally a union by the marriage, is now no more than a contract between two people and requires a license in most states. Basically, its a contract between two people and the state. This union, however, comes with certain rights, but only for heterosexual people. Same-sex couples who cannot marry are denied rights such as tax breaks, community property, visitation in hospitals, etc... In a country that claims to be the melting pot, the land of the free and home of the brave, we sure do hide behind traditional, conservative views sometimes. In a country that allows people to marry and divorce on a whim, yet denies people who love and care for each other the same union and rights. I am amazed by those who speak out against same-sex marriage, yet have been divorced several times, cheated on their wives/husbands, or even asked for open marriages (Newt Gingrich). "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." John 8:7.

Regardless of your views on same-sex couples, remember they are people too. Don't these couple deserve the same access to rights as others? It's time that our government and courts stopped hiding behind the guise of the 14th amendment and stand up for the rights of ALL people. I applaud the Ninth Circuit for having the gull to stand up and demand justice. Just my humble opinion. ~The Illegal Blonde

Divorce Full-Court Press

It is no secret that half of all marriages end in divorce. I mean who has not heard of Kim Kardashian's infamous 72 day marriage to Kris Humphries. But when did divorce become "news?" People get divorced everyday and it is not glamourous, happy, or all about money. Reality TV and the ease of divorce seems to have lessened the bonds and vows of marriage. Every day you hear about celebrities and their short-lived marriages and their public spectacle divorces. Demie Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Heidi Klum and Seal, Kim K., even the gorgous Olivia Wilde. But why are we fascinated with this thing that ends what is supposed to be sacred?

The truth is divorce is expensive and not only monetarily, but its taxing on a person's emotions and family. Couples going through divorce start to fight over things they never cared about simply to feel like they won. That lamp that you hated, you now cannot live without, and where you never minded his poker nights, you now claim neglect and abandonment. Now, I know that sometimes divorce is the right choice. No one should be forced it live in violent or abusive conditions (either physical or emotional). And no person has to forgive someone who cheats on them. But what concerns me more, are the people who just suddenly realize they didn't think the whole marriage thing through. I admit, the transition from relationship to marriage is tough, especially the first year. But that doean't mean the whole marriage will be that way. So many people give up before they have really given it a try. A good marriage takes work. It should not be entered into lightly, but once you have you have the duty to really try and make it work.

I admit its hard to know what you are really getting into when you get married. No matter how long you date someone, there is just something different about being married. There is compromise and a certain period of getting used to each other. You are sharing everything with one person. You have to give up a little bit of your independance in order to make it work. I think this scares so many people. They jump in because they are in love, but then they are faced with living with the same person everyday and adjusting to that person's strengths and weaknesses. Even the most perfect couple will admit they have struggled at some point in their relationships.

Perhaps in today's world of instant gratification and on demand entertainment people can take the easy way out--divorce. It's easier to run from problems, rather than face them head on. I mean how many of you have start and ended a fight over text message or email rather than face to face because it was easier? Social media has allowed our society to become less about interpersonal relationships and intimate conversation. I am amazed at how much faster I can accomplish things by simply walking up to the person and getting the answer from them face-to-face.

 So I challenge you to not engage in the hype of divorce. Don't read the tabloids that expose someone else's pain. Think hard about it before you enter into the sacred bond of marriage. Try to solve problems or issues face to face. ~The Illegal Blonde

So What You're a _____ Lawyer

I'm not sure how this works in other states, but here in Texas the bar passage rate comes with some bragging rights. I became well aware of this as a 1L when one of our deans interrupted class just to brag about our school's passage rate. It became abundantly clear to us still scared 1Ls that passing the bar was important. This fact was reinforced my 3L year when this same dean came in to a class of mine to report a rather low bar passage rate. Our administration pondered over why the rate dropped, was it because the students were less smart? No. Eventually the blame was put upon BARBRI putting up the lectures online and students quit going to class. I still think this odd that they blame BARBRI... I mean just because its online does not meant the student cannot go to class, but that is neither here nor there. The point is that passing the bar becomes something of a ranking for Texas law schools. I mean if you check out the results page on the BLE, you can also see the rankings for Texas schools.

I have always been pretty proud of how well my alma mater has done on the bar exam, considering its a 3rd tier school and people liken it to an inner city slum often. I mean we require our students to take all the major bar subjects ( you would be amazed that 2 certain schools do not require evidence!). But I was never more proud of be a alum of my school than Saturday morning. I attended my sister's law school graduation. Now, it was quite different from my own. First, it was in the Baptist church (this should clue you in where I was). Second, it was very small (winter class). The student speaker was the highest ranking student, instead of one chosen by the class, and the speaker was a professor (who was brillant BTW! I love a good Bluebook joke). But most of all, they were VERY proud of themselves and their little school. I get it, its the graduation for that school they are going to shout its praises from the mountain tops, but I feel as though it went a tad too far. I mean, how many other lawyers were out there thinking, I did not go here and I'm a damn good lawyer. This particular school is rather proud to dub themselves ______Lawyers. Who cares? I mean honestly after you pass the bar who cares what school you went to. Yes, I get it their lawyers go through the hell of PC,  but so what! Its not like I did not endure hell at my school. I mean I'm pretty sure as Elle Woods would say, "we took the same LSATs....) I took the same bar exam, I am employed.... Just because I did not go through PC does not mean I will not make a good litigator.

Now, I'm going to stop at this point and say two things: 1) I am way proud of my sister and would not have missed that moment for the world, so this is by no means to take away from her accomplishment. I mean I was in tears just seeing her; and 2) my school just won the National Moot Court Competition for the 2nd year in a row!

My point, who cares where you went to school! Each law school offers its students different opporunities, programs, experiences, but they all over the student the same degree. It's up to that student to make it worth it. It's not about being a Tech Lawyer, a Baylor Lawyer, a UT Lawyer, etc... its about  being a lawyer. Its about passing the bar and going into practice and proving yourself. Yes, I'm a product of my school, but I'm also a product of myself. ~The Illegal Blonde

TGIF

This will be em at 5pm today!

I'm rather glad today is Friday and not just because that means the weekend is upon us, but because I've had a rough week.

Monday - Forgot a towel at the gym, so I had to dry off with my t-shirt. I also forgot shampoo, hello sweaty hair! (did have fab dinner with V&D)

Tuesday - Forgot to take out anything for dinner, hello let's eat leftovers over the sink night!

Wednesday - Tummy troubles, let's just say tums did not help

Thursday - Yeah no shower shoes for the gym... don't worry I DID NOT go barefoot, I wore my socks, and then promptly discarded them.

Friday - I woke up grumpy, nothing looked good, my face has decided today its the Saharan desert. Hubs "accidentally" ate my half of the eggs, the coffee dispenser at the gas station spewed hot sugar free cappacino on me, and I had to use s'mores instead (not good).

Needless to say, I am excited for the weekend. My little sister is graduating from law school tomorrow and I can re-charge my batteries! Oh and Super Bowl Sunday, which means commercials! Enjoy the weekend loves! ~The Illegal (and slighlty preturbed) Blonde

It Takes a Village

Everytime someone asks me about my family I think back to 8th grade when I had to make a family tree for Spanish class and use the Spanish names to go along with the photos of my various family members. This task always seemed daunting to me because while I technically have a rather large family (my mom is the oldest of 7 kids and I have like a zillion cousins) my real family is made up of those people who have come into my life and formed my own custom-made "family" tree. Because my mother moved us from Pennsylvania, where all my extended family lives, to Texas when I was almost 2, I have never really gotten to know my family.  Add this to the fact that I am living proof that it takes a village to raise a child, and I have developed my own sense of what the word family means. Family is not as much about blood relations as it is about people who love you, care about you, and no matter what are ALWAYS there for you.

Yes, I have actual family: my mom and my brother (well technically half-brother), loads of aunts and uncles, cousins, my grandma in PA, mix in my newly acquired family from my hubs and yes its quite the brood. But then how do I classify those people who truly have been my familial unit? I've got a cast of sisters, second moms, aunts, and stand-in dad and mom. So, let me introduce you to my "family."

V&D - These are what I sometimes call my "godparents" for lack of a better descriptive term. But V is my well, role model, mentor, kick me in the butt when I misbehave person. She has been my twirling teacher since I was about 3, and well I'm just not sure what I would do without her. D is her husband. He acquired me by marriage (just what he wanted an 18 year old college freshman...) He is the best! He has shown my love, compassion, trust, and he has taught me an appreciation for music, food, wine, laughter, but most of all has shown me what a true father is. I am truly blessed.

Aunt K - She is V's sister and my well Aunt. She is probably the smartest person I know, a GREAT cook, and well-travelled. She has a wit about her that I adore and well she's an English professor, so she keeps my grammer in check! She recently moved to Texas so its great having her close.

My sister - Well, ok so not technically, but I love her to death. I met her at a pageant and well we have been bonded ever since. We look alike, talk alike, act a like, and have a shared love for ladybugs. She graduates from law school on Saturday and is getting married soon. I do not know what I would do without her. She is there when I need a hug, pep talk, or a swift kick in the rear.

My other sister - She lives in NYC. We met in the 6th grade and well I love her. We may go months without talking, but when we do catch up its like time never stoppped. She amazes me with her grace, poise, and strength.

My Red Raider - She has been my best friend since the 7th grade, was my MOH, and well I do not know how I would have survived without her and her family. She is talented, not a good cook, but is the hostest with the mostest and always there when you need her.

My munchkin - She was in my wedding and is now a freshman in high school, but to me she will always be munchkin. I've known her since she was born and well I was hooked. She is mature beyond her years, but silly as can be. She is smart, kind, and a good little twirler. I know she is off to great things.

My Law BFF - I met her 1L year second semester when she decided she would go into anaphylactic shock in class. I learned more about her in 2 minutes than I learned about her in 3 years! Literally, she told me all her stats, etc... on the drive from school to ER. We have been pretty inseperable since (well minus distance). She brings me down to Earth, gives me the straight answer, not the BS one. She listens and never judges. She calms my nerves, eases my tension, and just knows when I need her. In three short years we developed a bond that strong and I am blessed to know her.

Should-be sis - she is my sorority sister. I worked with her mom in college and after, and well we just adopted each other. We decided that we "should-be" sisters,  but we aren't. She is perhaps the most kind and loving person I know. Her heart truly is made of gold and she comes with this great family who I love to death! She also makes a mean chocolate-chip cookie!

These are just a few of the key members of my family. I've got a second family from high school that I love. V&D's next door neighbors, well they are wondeful just awesome. I've got twirling sisters, pageant sisters, sorority sisters, adopted families, a "circuit" family, a set of Divas who got me through college and beyond. I've got a Mama Kay, a Mama Kim, and Ms. Casey, and lots of others.

I truly believe that a family is more than blood. The bond I have with these people is stronger than with my actual family sometimes. They have loved and cared for me and would give me a kindey if I needed one ( I hope!). I took the approach that your family doesn't necessarily provide you with all the love and support you need. I never felt deprived of a father because I had a great male role model in D and Mr. Casey. When my mom couldn't make it to a twirling competition or cheer event, I had a slew of "moms" willing and eager to help me. They have celebrated my accomplishments, grieved my losses, and watched my walk down the aisle. I have never felt alone because I know I am surrounded by angels. See, my family is very special because they do not have to love me, they choose to. ~The Illegal Blonde

A case of the blahs

It's official, I have a case of the blahs... This happens mid-winter, and I know you are saying winter, what winter, you live in Texas and it was 75 yesterday. Well, duh I know, but that does not make my case of the blahs any less, well blah. I think this my case onset due to post celebration depression. Birthday is well past, the Holidays are well past, first anniversary came and went, and now its well, just plain ole February. And I know you are thinking, but Februaru is Valentine's Day. Well, duh I know that,  but come its not a real holiday. It's an over-commercialized Hallmark creation. And now you are thinking, but you are married and have a built-in Valentine... well duh, yes, but I still stand firm in my belief that V-day is nothing more than an attempt to sell candy, flowers, and jewelry. Love should be celebrated everyday.

So I sit here with a case of the blahs. My hair is that at that awkward point where it does, well, nothing I want it o. My skin is a ghostly, nasty grey, and no matter what shade of foundation I use its all wrong. Someone needs to come out with "pale/pasty" and I would be set. My face has also decided that it does not know what season its in. One day its dry as the Mohavi and then BOOM, I've got a West Texas Oil rush. Not to mention that I work in office that has a dual-personality temperature control. So as I sit here and type, I am blasting my mini heater, while at the same time wearing a skirt, well because its warm outside, but I look like one pale, casper-esque blob.

Now, I'm not complaining, per se, I'm just admitting that I know I'm slightly irritated, short-tempered, and well bummed. I'm a girl in desperate need of a good spray tan and another trip to Ulta to get the perfect shade of "blah." Until then, I'll hope that the odd yellow lights in our office will cover the oil slick on my nose, desert on my chin, and slightly too dark foundation, well everywhere. Come on March!! ~The Illegal Blonde

P.S. - Other than my personal blah, everything else is great! Work is good, puppy is good, hubs is grand, and house is coming along!