Patience

It's amazing how one little word stikes fear in people. From the time I was young I was told "patience is a virture." Well, what the heck does that mean.... (this is like 5-29 year old me talking). Mothers tell their children to be patient, you hear "good things comes to those who wait" and my personal favorite of my mother "this too shall pass." These are all ways in which we say that patience is a virture.

It's something most people want, but don't have the time for (ironic huh?). I think back at all the times I have been quick to yell, blame, or take offense, and realize if I has been more patient perhaps life would have surprised me. That seemingly offensive remark was but a subtle joke, or the all caps on a text was an accident.

Patience is something I have learned is loved and hated in law. Lawyers expect their clients to be patient with them and explain that they must be patient with the legal system as its a slow process. Associates want partners to be patient with them as they learn how things work. (I'm lucky in that most of mine are!) But then we see the opposite, opposing counsel was late with that request for production... sanctions!;  they want to depose my out of state witness next week... motion to quash!; I needed that discovery yesterday!

Relationships work the same way. We ask our partners to be patient with us while we mesh households, learn each other's everyday routines, and well become a cohesive unit. Yet we want it to happen TODAY! So for today, let God guide you.

I was given a gift from a good friend and I'm hoping it will help me become a better me. Lesson 1: Patience. :Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger." James1:19 ~ The Illegal Blonde

Building is Believing

OK, so I am the self-proclaimed Grinch! It's not that I do not like Christmas per se, its more than I hate how people get so stressed about it. The presents, the decor, the meal, making it to everyone's house... its overwhelming. My hubs told me that we get to start anew, make our own traditions.... you know those things I did not quite have growing up. So I'm trying.

I truly believe that if you build something from the ground up its real. Perhaps making our own way through the Holidays is what I need to let go of past memories gone awry, and thoughts of less than sugar plums dancing. So we decided to build it our way, I hope...

We built the first fire in our new home, hung up the stockings, and built the first Christmas tree. (We only had one small debacle, the colored v. white lights debate.) I gave inm he is the Christmas person, so colored lights it is! But toned down ornaments, to meet my tastes. Winter blues and snowflakes, a fairy here and there.... its a compromise I know, but its a start. Its building our communication skills as to what each of us needs to make the holidays more manageable and enjoyable.

So we will build our holiday memories one year at a time and believe it will make us stronger. ~The Illegal Blonde

A Time to Give Thanks

So I know tomorrow is actually Thanksgiving, but today I wanted to stop and give thanks for the many blessings in my life.

• I have a job where I am surrounded by people who want me to succeed
• I am surrounded by family (real & adopted) who love and care for me
• I have at best little sister in the world who I could not be more proud of
• My puppy loves me to death and I love her
• The food on my table everyday
• The men and woman who protect our freedom everyday
• The civil servants who patrol our streets and keep us safe
• The best friends a girl could ask for, you may think us ex-pageant queens are petty and mean, but I am constantly amazed that they are some of my closest and best friends
• The ability to obtain an education
• God.
• (and that I do not have to work Friday....) :)

God Bless everyone and have a safe and abundant Thanksgiving. ~ The Illegal Blonde

Worth It?

I happened upon a small blurb on Above The Law Today that talked about whether or not law school is worth it. I have often pondered this same thought. Will I recoup my financial investment? Will I like what I do? Am I a better person because of it?

I'm not sure I can answer these questions now, but I know that I have no regrets, I can't. I made the conscious decision to quit my job, leave my friends, move 300 miles aways and embark upon a journey. Perhaps its because its something I had on my bucket list, or said I wanted to do when I was in undergrad. Or maybe it was pressure to be something more, either way it was my decision and I worked hard. I never thought about the payoff at the end really. I never sat down and thought how long will it take me to recover what I paid for my education. I went into law school like I approach everything else: full speed ahead. Work hard, do well, be the best.

Not everyone goes to law school for the same reasons, and I respect that. It's what makes each class so  interesting--the mix of people who surround you. What I can tell you is that I have a better appreciation for those in my profession. They sacrifice time, life, and family sometimes for something they want to do. They work hard and study a lot. They ensure emotional pressure and pain. We are the few, the proud, those who survived. We are those crazy people who bill you over $100 an hour. Love us or hate us, we did what you didn't! ~The Illegal Blonde

Too much engagement in social media in the law?

Too much engagement in social media in the law?

Interesting thoughts on blogging in the law world.

Haste Makes Waste!

Ok, so I had my first small breakdown at work. For those of you who know me, well know any lawyer, you understand how Type A tendancies. We strive for perfection, as quickly as possible. Well, lesson learned. If my attempt to find the answer and get it to partner quickly, I screwed up!

I blame this part on the computer, part on law school, but mostly on myself. In my effort to get my memo to the partner quickly, I did not do a very thorough job of editing my work. Sure, nothing was misspelled, but it did not exactly read well. My answer was correct and such, but I would have been embarressed to send it to a client. I am lucky I had trusted friend who gently pointed out my mistakes. So what did type A me do, editted and send an over apologetic email to partner with the corrected memo.

So, the lesson here: haste makes waste. Even if you get the right answer, if its unreadable and looks like a second-grader composed it, its not worth it! Perhaps this is the time when young associates should stop and realize that in our rush to bill hours and show partner we can produce wrk quickly, that quick doesn't mean correct.

Print out your memo and read it like your shelf-checking! Ask you secretary to take a look at it, those fresh set of eyes can do wonder for a jumbled mess. But most importantly, if you need to cry (and I promise you we all do at some point) make haste to the closest bathroom stall and get it out! ~The Illegal Blonde

Love a Law Student Month

So in honor of "6 weeks out" I dub this Love a Law Student Month! Not too long ago I remember th pang of angst I felt when I got to that day on my calender which marked 6 weeks until finals! For of those of you non-law people, its the point in the semester where most law student start buckling down, honing in on outlines, and beginning the making of copious flashcards! (I do not miss these days,) but I remember and understand. I also know how lonely this time can feel, especially as the holidaus approach. Many law kids do not go home for Thanksgiving because they have finals when they return. They miss much-needed family time in order to stay mentally alert and get in as many hours as possible.

It's at this time of year that the law school library begins to look more like an Occupy Wall Street Camp, than a place of learning. Carrels are packed with snacks, red bull, and coffee. PJs become the outfit of choice and no one even thinks to wear their contact lenses. law students everywhere return to lonely apartments and rent houses, tired, weak, hungry, and beat down.

So, remember, if you have not gone to law school you do not understand the stress level, you cannot compare it to anything, and no its not just a test... IT'S THE ONLY GRADE I GET IN THE CLASS!!!!! It is times like these when law students needs your love, support, and goody baskets! Tell them you love them and offer them a drink when they are done! To all my law school friends, hang in there!!! But enjoy the fact that you get Christmas Break.... ~The Illegal Blonde

Not All Lawyers Wear Black

Ok, so you know the famous line from Legally Blonde the musical.... well it's soooo not true! I get it though, black is professional, and apparently some people take it too far. Yes, every lawyer, every person for that matter should own a simple black suit. Women, it should probably be a skirt, but hey get matching pants too! But that does not mean you have to pair it with the traditional white shirt and black pumps. Now, I'm not suggesting you show up in court sporting your black suit with a hot pink sweater and 6 inch peep-toe pumps, but there is no need to be boring.

If you are a newly graduated, new associate, you can share my plight: how do I look professional, but lose my I'm on a twentysomething sense of style? The key is to accessorize! I throw on cute shoes, or one piece of simple, but dramatic jewelry. Today, I took boring sheath dress to new heights with patterned tights! I am also not afraid to explore other neutrals. Navy says professional, as does grey, and even olive! So, just because I have to sit behind a desk and play the "billable hour game" doesn't mean I have to look like I am!

Besides, I have found that adding color not only brightens my look and mood, I get a lot fo compliements from my boss! ~The Illegal Blonde

Marriage is like a lawsuit....

I have decided that marriage and engagement is much like the process of filing a lawsuit, or perhaps it should be. When you file a suit, you prepare the complaint, or petition, you basically ask that the lawsuit begin. This is engagement. But here's the real kicker, after you get engaged, women go nuts! They do not follow procedure per se, they run out and start planning the wedding. They throw caution to the wind and spend like mad women! Men stand idly by and say, well I'm not paying for this. (not that this happend in my own wedding, but in general).

What should happen is what comes next in a lawsuit: discovery. I truly beleive that each party (bride/groom) should engage in pretrial (or premarriage) discovery. There should be Request for Disclosures (RFD), Request for Production (RFP), Interrogatories, and yes Requests for Admissions (RFA). Just think of all the heartache this would save if each party simply, and civilly exchanged all the pertinent info: bank accounts, old girlfriends, potential baby daddys/mamas, crazy mothers, ex-con fathers... ya know the things come up in a marriage.

I mean think of the time in divorce court you could save if you simply gathered all the evidence beforehand and then mediated the problems prior to the big day! I think of all the seemingly little things that have come out in my first year of marriage that I wish I had known before. For the most part they are not huge issues, and we have worked through them, but I just think how much easier it would have been had this all been worked out before. And come on ladies, how many of you would love to take your fiance or husband's deposition? "Tell me the truth!!" (ok, maybe that is the baby lawyer speaking to me...) \

The point is, that sometimes I wish life were moderated and covered by civil rules (all your law kids cringe at the word Civil Procedure), but its called that for a reason, its to help make proceedings, well, more "civil." Simple thought of the day, before you say something cruel and unkind, or gesture, or write that scathing email, think would I want this to come out in court? Is this admissible against me? Gotta love the law! ~The Illegal Blonde

The Grey Area

I know I have said this before, but law school does not prepare you for real world practice, per se, nor does it prepare you for life. Law students are taught that there is a right answer. It's either A-E; true or false; or some well-typed canned answer to an essay question. Law students are constantly obsessed with getting it right. There is the perfect way to write a memo, law review comment, or outline a fact pattern. No professor is looking for the "it depends" answer; they do not want the grey area. But the truth is, the law is all grey area, and so is life for that matter.

I know I have only been working for a little over 2 months and have only been licensed for a week and a few days, but this is probably the best advice for any law student.... THERE IS NO RIGHT ANSWER!

Exhibit A: I get an assignment from a partner to research this and find case law to support it. Well, guess what.... there is no answer to your question. There is no case law to support it, and in fact no one has even scratched the surface on this issue. I admit, I freaked out. I kept stressing and called the Westlaw line to get some advice. I thought maybe I have overthought this issue (which would come as no surprise), perhaps I have missed typed a connector.... Nope, no my gut instinct was right, the answer does not exist. Then why was I so afraid... because I was programmed to find that right answer. To compose an eloquent memo outlining the applicable law and applying it to the facts. Finally, I turned to my trusty fellow associate and he told me... its ok. Just simply tell parnter that you could not find the answer to issue x and how would he like you to proceed. Simple, huh? Still I feared him telling me I must be wrong, go back, keep looking! But low and behold, he did not. He simply said "I looked too and couldn't find anything." Wow, all that worrying for nothing. Another wise friend told me that you'd be surprised how often in the law the answer is "i have no lue".

I have also learned that in life, there is no right or wrong answer per se. It's funny, this is the argument I have most often with the hubs... I struggle with the quest to be right. I get that is not about actually being right, it about having my thought and feelings validated. To me right, it the perfect solution, knowing how to solve the problem, arriving at the destination because I navigated us there. I have been programmed to do this. Law school taught to pursue the quest for knowledge, to find the right answer.

Too bad this does not work out so well in life. Life, just as the law, is filled with grey area. Its finding the balance between what you client wants and what remedies allowed by law; between doing things your way and satisfying you MIL. There is a fine line in both law and life between being right and conceding that good is good enough, when knowing when to settle and when to take it the jury! I have to become more focused on a happy medium, rather than going for the win. Settling a case is not losing it, its just knowing when to do what is best for all the parties involved. Just as law requires a cost/benefit analysis, so does life, and marriage.~ The Illegal Blonde

Officially Official

So yeah, I passed the bar, but yesterday is became officially official as I was sworn in and received my bar number. And then it hit me... I have no clue what I am doing! Thank goodness for malpractice insurance!

But reality is that law school teaches you nothing except how to have a crazed sense of humor and leaves your with a warped sense of reality. I have learned more in the last two months than I did in three years of law school. I am blessed that my firm has actually taken the time to teach me. I have wonderful partners who give me feedback and advice. So thanks guys!

So here's to a lifetime of learning! ~The Illegal Blonde

Answers to Your (Dumb) Legal Questions

Q: If I get pulled over while drinking, should I decline the breathalizer?
A: Don't drink and drive!

Q: If I don't want my husband/wife to get any of my stuff when I die, what do I do?
A: Don't marry him/her?

Q: I don't think I should be taxed on ....
A: Move

Q: I'm a waiter/waitress and don't report my tips, is this illegal?
A: Chances are you know the anwer and are merely looking for justification.

Q: My neighbor doesn't mow, water, pick up his trash, his dog barks all night, he parks in front of my house, etc...
A: Move.... (or call the city and complain)

Q: This one time, a friend of mine....
A: Admit that you did whatever it is that you are about to lie and tell me your friend did, and then remember even if I represent you, I will still have to see you after this in social situations and if you would like to continue to be friends, seek another lawyer's advice!

Q: Do I need a will?
A: Do you want your family to fight about your stupid stuff after you die? YES, you do!

Pay to Play?

In light of the recent outcry of sexual harrassments by former Penn State football, I felt compelled to write about it.... sports. I know, I am a self-confessed sport, well hater is a strong word, but come on people we all know that I love certain teams and certain sports, but feel less than compelled to plant myself in front of the tube all day to watch 19 zillion games. But I do know a little about the law, so when sports (hub's fav thing) and law co-mingle I get excited!

The state of sports has been everything from perjury, can we say Barry Bonds, to paying athletes, Reggie Bush, but this is nothing new. For years colleges and universties have been buying and paying players. Think about it: athletes have different SAT score standards, GPA requirements, they get to register to for classes before everyone, and the university pays for them to have tutors! They never have to buy a stitch of athletic gear and rack up so many pairs of shoes and clothes they can be dressed for years after graduation. I mean I know that sponsors suchs as Nike and Adidas provide that stuff, but its the equivalent of paying them. Even worse perhaps is that some athletes manage to make money from playing via per diem.

When teams travel each athlete is provided with a certain sum of money to pay for meals, but yet ALL their meals are paid for (well at least at most major schools). Thus, these kids can bank!

Don't even get me started on the millions of dollars spent on TV! And granted, this is mostly college football, but baseball, basketball, they all do pretty well themselves. So its no wonder we have the problems we have. Nor should it come as a surprise that these same athletes get into trouble. They are mini-gods walking around with little to no consequences, neither do the coaches. The coaches make millions and teach their kids to be the same. And the media and even the NCAA does not do much to punish violators. Take USC for intance. They lost a heisman trophy and a season worth of wins, but yet they were featured on ESPN's College Gameday. What does this say? Sure your season may not count, but let's applaud you and feature your program for little ones everywhere.

So, people suggest we should pay them to play... well IMHO we already are. ~The Illegal Blonde

Just call me Esquire!

Yep, you heard me people, my  billable rate just went up! I am now an officially licensed attorney. Let the commencment of legal questions begin. Now I may have to sue the Texas Board of Law Examiners for IIED or my carpal tunnell from hitting refresh a million times, but hey I can right!

So what does this mean? That three years of blood, sweat, and tears were worth something. It's the rubber stamp on my career. Go me!

In all honesty though, I could not have done this without so many people. My hubs, my family (real and adopted), and my friends. I am blessed to be surrounded by loving, supportive people who only want the best for me. Thank you for enduring late nights, phone calls filled with tears, and an emotional rollar coaster! Now to celebrate! ~The Illegal Blonde

Messy Moments

Spending time with friends and family can lead to fun and memorable moments, but also some very messy ones. Tell us about the messiest moments that you’ll always remember!

If you know me, then you know that I am rather, well, clumsy and accident prone. I spilled coffee on myself the first 4 days of my new attorney job. I once was at dinner with a boyfriend's family and squirted lemon right into his dad's eye... See what I mean? But perhaps my most shining or messy moment involved salsa and my now-husband's kitchen.

Our thing is breakfast. We even served it at our reception. So every Sunday we either went out for breakfast or he cooked (its his meal!). Well I decided I would be ever so helpful and get out the salsa for our egg burritos. I got the giant Sam's size jug out of the fridge and set it on the counter. I then went ahead and unscrewed the cap to make sure it was fresh. I then got distracted, what's new, and walked away. I came back into the kitchen ready to dine and proceeded to shake the salsa bottle... and that's when the salsa hit the fan!

Salsa everywhere! My poor boyfriend's kitchen was covered in the hot, red stuff. Not to mention we was as well. So there stands my self-confessed, clean-freak of a boyfriend covered in salsa. Did I mention it was the chunky kind? I burst into tears. I was upset, embarressed and well just downright defeated. (This came only weeks after the great Cheerio-explosion). I did not hear from him for a good week.

No we laugh about this moment and every time I get the salsa out, he grabs its from me and offeres to help! Amazing how some of life's messy moments can turn into loving ones!

I received information about Clorox’s Bleach It Away campaign and am sharing my messy moment for the chance to win prizes from The SITS Girls. To learn more about the messy moment program, check out http://www.bleachitaway.com/.  Sharing your story on the Clorox fan page gets you entered for the chance to win $25,000 and daily prizes, and you can grab a coupon for Clorox® Regular Bleach.

Those Were the Days

As the fate of my futre hangs in the balance (hint hint bar exams results 1-2 days away) I thought it would be nice to remember the fun and not so fun times from law school!

Fun

• meeting my best friend and Maid of Honor
• cupcakes
• carrell dance parties
• the morning crew
• that time the kid next to me got called on in Torts and had no book and had to read from mine and the sentence involved sex
• after final round receptions
• bullshitting my way out of getting called on
• "You Get a Car" "You Get a Car!"
• a certain Property and Wills & Trusts Professor
• karoke
• Lindy Tour
• making some of my best friends!

Not So Fun

• Studying
• Finals
• BARBRI
• The Bar Exam
• being unprepared
• shelf-checks in foreign languages
• mid-terms, competition, comment deadline, and shelf-check all due in the same week
• DRAMA
• DRAMA
• PR
• getting sick away from home
• having no clue what your prof is talking about
• my first B, C, and D...
• did I mention DRAMA

Would I repeat the last three years? NO! Would I recommend law school to anyone? NO Would I trade the memories for $1M? NO Do I regret it? NO

Make every moment count, have no regrets, and when you do something, do it with all your heart, soul, and mind.

Be Seen, Be Heard!

I know I have totally screwed up the old adage of "be seen, nor heard," but its because in my line of work, you have to speak up... sometimes. As the newest associate (hopefully) attorney, and one of just three females, I have to make sure that I am seen as much as heard. By this I mean, I get to the office by 7:30 (which I still cannot manage to beat Boss in) and leave after Boss. Its's that extra hour that I am there before most other partners that makes a difference sometimes. So if that means 5am workouts to make, then that's what I do!

Being heard is also important. I know I have discussed my reluctance to actually speak with attorneys, but I know I must. But it doesn't always have to be about work. I make sure to go to lunch with the boys at least once a week, even when it gets awkward (note to self, watch more stupid-humor movies). The point is you have to make an effort to show people that you are a team player and can handle the work. Showing up early means committment. Now, I'm not saying to sleep in your office ( I know you all have heard horror stories from first-year associates). I am blessed (well  I am now) that I'm treated like a person. No over-bearing bosses who throw projects at you with no answer just for the heck of it, or projects for which they know the answer and just want to test you. No I work with rather well-adjusted people who have "lives" outside the office. Yes the work hard and often, but they also stress the importance of family.

So remember if something is worth it to you, be seen and heard! ~Illegal Blonde