"Responsible" Third Parties

In the last 2-3 months I have been asked several times to research the issue of designating a responsible third party (RTP) in Texas. For those of you non-legal folks, a RTP is basically any person who may have had any part in causing damage or injury to a plaintiff in a lawsuit. This doctrine also recently changed in Texas, thus the sudden interest in the doctrine by the partners in our firm. I know, I know, this does not sound very interesting you say, but after extensive research, and glass of wine or two, I realized how applicable this doctrine is to everyday life... I mean just think of all those times when you got in trouble as a kid when your little brother or sister really caused the problem, or how you were reprimanded at work for something you co-worker did. How great would it be if you could simple designate that pesky younger sibling or meddling co-worker as a RTP... thus relieving you from some of the blame.

Lawyers use the RTP designation most often when they represent defendants and hope to show proportionate liability or avoid joint and several liability. Simply put, a defendant is free to move the court to designate just about anyone as a RTP as long as there is some evidence that this person did contribute in some way to the injury or damage. I imagine this this scenario playing out in households everywhere something like this:

Mom: Johnny get your butt in here right now!

Johnny: But Mom, I didn't do it!

Mom: Johnny why on earth did you you XYZ....?

Johnny: Well Mom, its not all my fault, you see Jane told me to...

Mom: Do not bring your sister into this, she did not make you do this.

Johnny: No she did not make me, but according to the Texas Civil Practice and Remedies Code, she is a "person who is alleged to have caused or contributed to causing in any way the harm for which recovery of damages is sought, whether by negligent act or omission, by any defective or unreasonably dangerous product, by other conduct or activity that violates an applicable legal standard, or by any combination of these," because she told me that I didn't have the balls to do it!

Mom: [blank stare]

I think back to all the times I got in trouble for something my brother did, or instigated and vice versa. There are the rights that break out in the playground or school hallways in which someone always says well so-in-so said something about my.... Our society is such that we always looks to pass the buck, and the RTP is merely the legal way to do so.

So the next time you find yourself in the seat of blame, remember to invoke your right to designate a RTP (after all its never all your fault, right?) ~ The Illegal Blonde

Merry/Happy Christmakuh

I surved my first married Christmakuh... I say this, but really there was not a Hanakuh to this.... Its just fun to say. Yes, my husband comes from a half Jewish/ half Christian family, but the most jewish they get it unpacking the electric Menorah and then forgetting to plug it in. Oh, and his mother makes latkes.

This being our first married Christmas you would think we would be inseperable, but then again that would just not be us... trying to fit in everyone's holiday schedule proved to be a bit more difficult. First, his family does "Christmas" on Christmas Eve (something about sleeping in on Christmas day). So we headed to our first family gathering around 2pm Saturday. We dropped off the pup with his parents and then headed to my family. We ate our traditional Mexican Christmas Eve feast and then went to his parents for presents. From there I headed to Midnight Mass with my mother. (Yes it really starts at midnight)

*Funny side note, during mass the Priest a brief history of time at which point my mother leans over and asks me when Jesus was born (I wanted to say duh mom today... Christmas) but then I realized she meant what year as in BC or AD to which I replied BC = before Christ and AD = anno domini or "year of our Lord." This led to a quiet, but extensive history lesson for my mom.

Then at about 1:30 I finally headed back to the family household, sans hubs. I felt like a teenager trying to sneak in after being out too late... However, my cover was blown by the chihahua police (aka Hubble and Hopie.) The barked me right in the door and up the stairs.... Needless to say, I did not awake at the crack of dawn to open presents. I staggered out of bed around 9:30 to yet another puppy alarm.

The family proceeded to make and eat breakfast and then enjoyed a civilized present-opening experience. One at a time, nice and slow (accompanied by champagne!) After presents, hubs went back to his fam for lunch while I stayed and helped with dinner! I have slowly over time been allowed to graduate from salad preparation and this year served as sous pie chef and vegetable preparer! (Roasted carrots and parsnips with feta and balsalmic glaze). We only had two minor holiday catastrophes: 1. stopped up disposal; and 2. smoking oven... Minus that we had a delightful meal with family and friends.

After dinner we heaed back to hubs's parents to load up the pup and stuff and head home! Well, after we moved a glass cabinet and made sure pup did her business and took home too many leftovers. When we finally arrived all I wanted to do was sleep!

Yesterday was no different. We made a trip Lowe's to use some giftcards. Three light fixtures, two doorknobs, two cans of paint, caulk, and 4 lightbulbs later we were off for new tennis shoes! When we finally arrived home (after visiting the grocery store) we got to work on more home improvements. Since hubs has the week off, he is my obligatory handyman! We've got two closets and a front door to paint and new kitchen light fixtures to hang! We would have already had a new front door handle, but I CANNOT get the old one off.... The doorknob has won that fight for now. Needless to say, I was a little excited to come to work this morning where I could plant myself in my office and not be bothered.... Holidays are nice, but sometimes there is respite in my solitude of an office.

So Merry/Happy Christmakuh everyone, make the rest of 2011 the best. ~The Illegal Blonde

Sin City

So I made it through my first trip to Vegas! I was amazed by the shear size of the hotels... I mean it cannot be described unless you see it in person. And the shopping?!? There are more stores in 7 miles then I have ever seen, not to mention a Starbuck's literally about every 5 feet.... What does this say about our country?

But this trip got me thinking about fashion... Yes I know, not gambling, or food, but fashion. For a town with so many luxurious stores, some people have no sense of fashion (or decency for that matter). This place was like People of Wal-Mart on steriods. I saw everything from shorts when it was raniny and 40 degrees, no shoes walking down the Strip, but perhaps my favorite were the numerous amount of girls who apparently mistook their pantyhose for leggings!

Yes you heard it here, these girls wore pantyhose with a shirt and boot/heels/wedges of questionable taste. At first I thought I was clearly mistaken. I  mean everyone knows that pantyhose are not meant to be worn alone. But no, not in Vegas! I kid you not, I walked behind a girl for several blocks and stared at her cheeks... She was adorned in black sheer hose complete with built in panty, a sweater and booties... And perhaps it would have been ok, had it been like Paris Hilton, shown below, but these girls needed a serious lesson in health and beauty.

To say I was appalled, is well an understatement. Then let's add in the vast amounts of girls wearing too much make up, or make up from last night, showing well not too much, but all their cleavage, and the tight, short skirts/dresses. Vegas is a fashion nightmare! Ladies, just because you travelled to the City of Lights, does not give you license to leave your sense of any kind at the terminal. Vergas is not Halloween, so do not dress like a slutty Victoria's secret model. No one wants to see your goodies! (ok so maybe some rather undesireable men do)

So for a city that has some of the best shopping, the most desired couture, it also attracts poor fashion sense in droves! ~The Illegal Blonde



Think

Amazing what a fortune cookie can unfold. I had lunch with the other two female associates in my office yesterday at this great Thai place downtown. We exchanged stories, gossip, and they gave me some advice about surviving not only in our male-dominated profession, but our male-dominated office. As we walked out, I stopped and grabbed a fortune cookie, not because I particularly care for them, I think its more tradition or habit. I mean how else does a meal end at any Asian food place in the US right?

So, today I got in my purse to get a stick of gum, and bam there is my fortune cookie! I opened up that baby and cracked it open and there lie my fortune: "No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible." Now, I was sadly disappointed as this is not exactly a fortune, but hey whose to tell Voltaire that? Anyway, it got me thinking about the different ways this phrase can be interpreted and applied in life.

1. In the midst of a fight, war, argument, etc... no one person thinks its his fault. I mean not one person can literally start a war, just the same same one single snowflake cannot start an avalanche. It's the collective. In law its the pointing fingers approach. No one single person caused the corporate breakdown, it was not the action of one person who caused the faulty part to be manufactured, nor did one party to a divorce do one single act to cause the breakup of a marriage. But that is the nature of the law, and more precisely the practice of it.

Lawyers try to figure who did it, place blame and liability. We shoot back and forth discovery, and quibble over deadlines. It's this mob mentality, this collective thinking that turns small problems into avalanches. In the end though no one really can place the blame or the start of a lawsuit  for that matter on that single snowflake.

2. Be the change you want to see in the world. When I first read my "fortune" I thought differently than how most people interpret this adage. To me it was more about the snowflake not feeling like it could cause the avalanche on its own. And perhaps literally it can't, but it goes without saying, it just takes one.

It's true no one person may feel the caused a great movement or trend on his own, but the movement had to begin somewhere. Martin Luther King, Jr. did not wake up one morning and say I think I'll have a dream today, nor one protestor standing alone begin a movement to end the war in the 60's or to Occupy Wall St. (how's that going BTW?).

My point is not one person is responsible for the great change we see everyday, but one person can be the step that puts the gears into motion to cause the proverbial avalanche.

So, however you chose to interpret my little fortune, the lesson is simple: every ill work spoken, or mean stare can begin an avalanche of hate or a smile and a kind word can bring about an avalanche of change. Each day you get to chose which snowflake you'll  be. And remember each day is a new snow storm. ~The Illegal Blonde

Once a Crownhead, Always a Crownhead

Miss USA Crown

I guess it should have shocked me more than when I looked at my mornings "news" aka my most followed blogs, it came as no surprise to see another former queen in the news. For those of you who have missed this gem, former Miss USA 2010 Rima Fakih was allegedly arrested last night under Michigan's "super-drunk" law. This reminds me that once you  have worn the crown, regardless of which one, it stays proverbially on your head.

Let this be a gentle reminder that someone is always watching you. (Maybe not Santa Claus) Perhaps they will not catch you every moment when you are not acting in the most noble or ladylike fashion, but they see and hear. I could sit here and list a litany of beauty queens who behaved less than desirably, but what good would that do, except rehash their imperfections and not allow them to move one.

But this lesson expands to more than the pageant world. In fact, in every phase of life someone is there watching over you, making sure you are doing the right thing and making a good impression, building a good reputation for yourself. Each contact you make in life, each action you chose to take, reflects on the person you are, or who you chose to portray. For example, this morning one of my colleagues sent out an email asking about the reputation of three mediators. You would be amazed at the responses. Funny as they are to lawyers, the reputation of one of the mediators on this list is less than desirable. (Needless to say, this particular mediator will probably not be getting anymore work from out firm).

Remember the mantra your mother or father preached at your to mind your p's and q's? ( I mean what the heck are your p's and q's anyway?) Well, they were right. It's just a reminder to act how your want to be remembered. Leave the right impression. Yes, we all  have bad days and can say some spiteful things, but for the most part, the person who received that tongue-lashing probably did nothing to deserve. Just the same as teens and young adults all have the days where they are rebellious and experiment. I'm not telling you to be perfect, because no one can. What I am saying is that everyone wears a crown so to speak.

People will judge you in every profession, job, club, school, etc.. you get the point. So, always be the best representative of you, your family, your profession, etc... Walk around everyday like you have a crown on your head. Make every day count, and be remembered not for the mistakes you make, but for 1) how you handle them, 2) how you overcome them, and 3) how you avoid them. It does not matter which "crown" you wear, just remember how you want to be remember. ~The Illegal Blonde

Crown of Thorns



Miss America Crown



Moving On

So I've been pretty busy today and wasn't going to blog, until I saw a post by a good friend on her wall. It was a picture with a quote, and when I read the words I was moved.

This applies in more than the friend world. I have often thought about being fired from my first job, and I have pondered why they didn't like me, or what I did that was so bad to warrant termination. In relationships women often think we did something wrong (and most often we have) that made the relationship fail. Friendships are this way too, as are jobs and I have discovered: clients.

We all have those moments when we need closure on some aspect of our life and the first thing we do is blame, not ourselves, but the friend, spouse, bf/gf, boss, etc.. you get the point. Perhaps its not that the person or thing was bad, it was just time for that part of our story to close. It's the end of the chapter, so to speak, in the life of you.

So look not to blame what ails you, but look at it as a new chapter to begin, or as a wise professor posted, turning the page to read something new into your life story. Remember, every day is a new page. You get to write that page of your life, you can chose to begin a new chapter, end one, or simply continue the story, but each day is a new beginning, a new opportunity to make yourself who YOU want to be.
 ~The Illegal Blonde

Mostly Dead Comments On Irrational Exuberance

Love this guy and his posts!

Mostly Dead Comments On Irrational Exuberance

Patience

It's amazing how one little word stikes fear in people. From the time I was young I was told "patience is a virture." Well, what the heck does that mean.... (this is like 5-29 year old me talking). Mothers tell their children to be patient, you hear "good things comes to those who wait" and my personal favorite of my mother "this too shall pass." These are all ways in which we say that patience is a virture.

It's something most people want, but don't have the time for (ironic huh?). I think back at all the times I have been quick to yell, blame, or take offense, and realize if I has been more patient perhaps life would have surprised me. That seemingly offensive remark was but a subtle joke, or the all caps on a text was an accident.

Patience is something I have learned is loved and hated in law. Lawyers expect their clients to be patient with them and explain that they must be patient with the legal system as its a slow process. Associates want partners to be patient with them as they learn how things work. (I'm lucky in that most of mine are!) But then we see the opposite, opposing counsel was late with that request for production... sanctions!;  they want to depose my out of state witness next week... motion to quash!; I needed that discovery yesterday!

Relationships work the same way. We ask our partners to be patient with us while we mesh households, learn each other's everyday routines, and well become a cohesive unit. Yet we want it to happen TODAY! So for today, let God guide you.

I was given a gift from a good friend and I'm hoping it will help me become a better me. Lesson 1: Patience. :Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger." James1:19 ~ The Illegal Blonde

Building is Believing

OK, so I am the self-proclaimed Grinch! It's not that I do not like Christmas per se, its more than I hate how people get so stressed about it. The presents, the decor, the meal, making it to everyone's house... its overwhelming. My hubs told me that we get to start anew, make our own traditions.... you know those things I did not quite have growing up. So I'm trying.

I truly believe that if you build something from the ground up its real. Perhaps making our own way through the Holidays is what I need to let go of past memories gone awry, and thoughts of less than sugar plums dancing. So we decided to build it our way, I hope...

We built the first fire in our new home, hung up the stockings, and built the first Christmas tree. (We only had one small debacle, the colored v. white lights debate.) I gave inm he is the Christmas person, so colored lights it is! But toned down ornaments, to meet my tastes. Winter blues and snowflakes, a fairy here and there.... its a compromise I know, but its a start. Its building our communication skills as to what each of us needs to make the holidays more manageable and enjoyable.

So we will build our holiday memories one year at a time and believe it will make us stronger. ~The Illegal Blonde

A Time to Give Thanks

So I know tomorrow is actually Thanksgiving, but today I wanted to stop and give thanks for the many blessings in my life.

• I have a job where I am surrounded by people who want me to succeed
• I am surrounded by family (real & adopted) who love and care for me
• I have at best little sister in the world who I could not be more proud of
• My puppy loves me to death and I love her
• The food on my table everyday
• The men and woman who protect our freedom everyday
• The civil servants who patrol our streets and keep us safe
• The best friends a girl could ask for, you may think us ex-pageant queens are petty and mean, but I am constantly amazed that they are some of my closest and best friends
• The ability to obtain an education
• God.
• (and that I do not have to work Friday....) :)

God Bless everyone and have a safe and abundant Thanksgiving. ~ The Illegal Blonde

Worth It?

I happened upon a small blurb on Above The Law Today that talked about whether or not law school is worth it. I have often pondered this same thought. Will I recoup my financial investment? Will I like what I do? Am I a better person because of it?

I'm not sure I can answer these questions now, but I know that I have no regrets, I can't. I made the conscious decision to quit my job, leave my friends, move 300 miles aways and embark upon a journey. Perhaps its because its something I had on my bucket list, or said I wanted to do when I was in undergrad. Or maybe it was pressure to be something more, either way it was my decision and I worked hard. I never thought about the payoff at the end really. I never sat down and thought how long will it take me to recover what I paid for my education. I went into law school like I approach everything else: full speed ahead. Work hard, do well, be the best.

Not everyone goes to law school for the same reasons, and I respect that. It's what makes each class so  interesting--the mix of people who surround you. What I can tell you is that I have a better appreciation for those in my profession. They sacrifice time, life, and family sometimes for something they want to do. They work hard and study a lot. They ensure emotional pressure and pain. We are the few, the proud, those who survived. We are those crazy people who bill you over $100 an hour. Love us or hate us, we did what you didn't! ~The Illegal Blonde

Too much engagement in social media in the law?

Too much engagement in social media in the law?

Interesting thoughts on blogging in the law world.

Haste Makes Waste!

Ok, so I had my first small breakdown at work. For those of you who know me, well know any lawyer, you understand how Type A tendancies. We strive for perfection, as quickly as possible. Well, lesson learned. If my attempt to find the answer and get it to partner quickly, I screwed up!

I blame this part on the computer, part on law school, but mostly on myself. In my effort to get my memo to the partner quickly, I did not do a very thorough job of editing my work. Sure, nothing was misspelled, but it did not exactly read well. My answer was correct and such, but I would have been embarressed to send it to a client. I am lucky I had trusted friend who gently pointed out my mistakes. So what did type A me do, editted and send an over apologetic email to partner with the corrected memo.

So, the lesson here: haste makes waste. Even if you get the right answer, if its unreadable and looks like a second-grader composed it, its not worth it! Perhaps this is the time when young associates should stop and realize that in our rush to bill hours and show partner we can produce wrk quickly, that quick doesn't mean correct.

Print out your memo and read it like your shelf-checking! Ask you secretary to take a look at it, those fresh set of eyes can do wonder for a jumbled mess. But most importantly, if you need to cry (and I promise you we all do at some point) make haste to the closest bathroom stall and get it out! ~The Illegal Blonde

Love a Law Student Month

So in honor of "6 weeks out" I dub this Love a Law Student Month! Not too long ago I remember th pang of angst I felt when I got to that day on my calender which marked 6 weeks until finals! For of those of you non-law people, its the point in the semester where most law student start buckling down, honing in on outlines, and beginning the making of copious flashcards! (I do not miss these days,) but I remember and understand. I also know how lonely this time can feel, especially as the holidaus approach. Many law kids do not go home for Thanksgiving because they have finals when they return. They miss much-needed family time in order to stay mentally alert and get in as many hours as possible.

It's at this time of year that the law school library begins to look more like an Occupy Wall Street Camp, than a place of learning. Carrels are packed with snacks, red bull, and coffee. PJs become the outfit of choice and no one even thinks to wear their contact lenses. law students everywhere return to lonely apartments and rent houses, tired, weak, hungry, and beat down.

So, remember, if you have not gone to law school you do not understand the stress level, you cannot compare it to anything, and no its not just a test... IT'S THE ONLY GRADE I GET IN THE CLASS!!!!! It is times like these when law students needs your love, support, and goody baskets! Tell them you love them and offer them a drink when they are done! To all my law school friends, hang in there!!! But enjoy the fact that you get Christmas Break.... ~The Illegal Blonde

Not All Lawyers Wear Black

Ok, so you know the famous line from Legally Blonde the musical.... well it's soooo not true! I get it though, black is professional, and apparently some people take it too far. Yes, every lawyer, every person for that matter should own a simple black suit. Women, it should probably be a skirt, but hey get matching pants too! But that does not mean you have to pair it with the traditional white shirt and black pumps. Now, I'm not suggesting you show up in court sporting your black suit with a hot pink sweater and 6 inch peep-toe pumps, but there is no need to be boring.

If you are a newly graduated, new associate, you can share my plight: how do I look professional, but lose my I'm on a twentysomething sense of style? The key is to accessorize! I throw on cute shoes, or one piece of simple, but dramatic jewelry. Today, I took boring sheath dress to new heights with patterned tights! I am also not afraid to explore other neutrals. Navy says professional, as does grey, and even olive! So, just because I have to sit behind a desk and play the "billable hour game" doesn't mean I have to look like I am!

Besides, I have found that adding color not only brightens my look and mood, I get a lot fo compliements from my boss! ~The Illegal Blonde

Marriage is like a lawsuit....

I have decided that marriage and engagement is much like the process of filing a lawsuit, or perhaps it should be. When you file a suit, you prepare the complaint, or petition, you basically ask that the lawsuit begin. This is engagement. But here's the real kicker, after you get engaged, women go nuts! They do not follow procedure per se, they run out and start planning the wedding. They throw caution to the wind and spend like mad women! Men stand idly by and say, well I'm not paying for this. (not that this happend in my own wedding, but in general).

What should happen is what comes next in a lawsuit: discovery. I truly beleive that each party (bride/groom) should engage in pretrial (or premarriage) discovery. There should be Request for Disclosures (RFD), Request for Production (RFP), Interrogatories, and yes Requests for Admissions (RFA). Just think of all the heartache this would save if each party simply, and civilly exchanged all the pertinent info: bank accounts, old girlfriends, potential baby daddys/mamas, crazy mothers, ex-con fathers... ya know the things come up in a marriage.

I mean think of the time in divorce court you could save if you simply gathered all the evidence beforehand and then mediated the problems prior to the big day! I think of all the seemingly little things that have come out in my first year of marriage that I wish I had known before. For the most part they are not huge issues, and we have worked through them, but I just think how much easier it would have been had this all been worked out before. And come on ladies, how many of you would love to take your fiance or husband's deposition? "Tell me the truth!!" (ok, maybe that is the baby lawyer speaking to me...) \

The point is, that sometimes I wish life were moderated and covered by civil rules (all your law kids cringe at the word Civil Procedure), but its called that for a reason, its to help make proceedings, well, more "civil." Simple thought of the day, before you say something cruel and unkind, or gesture, or write that scathing email, think would I want this to come out in court? Is this admissible against me? Gotta love the law! ~The Illegal Blonde

The Grey Area

I know I have said this before, but law school does not prepare you for real world practice, per se, nor does it prepare you for life. Law students are taught that there is a right answer. It's either A-E; true or false; or some well-typed canned answer to an essay question. Law students are constantly obsessed with getting it right. There is the perfect way to write a memo, law review comment, or outline a fact pattern. No professor is looking for the "it depends" answer; they do not want the grey area. But the truth is, the law is all grey area, and so is life for that matter.

I know I have only been working for a little over 2 months and have only been licensed for a week and a few days, but this is probably the best advice for any law student.... THERE IS NO RIGHT ANSWER!

Exhibit A: I get an assignment from a partner to research this and find case law to support it. Well, guess what.... there is no answer to your question. There is no case law to support it, and in fact no one has even scratched the surface on this issue. I admit, I freaked out. I kept stressing and called the Westlaw line to get some advice. I thought maybe I have overthought this issue (which would come as no surprise), perhaps I have missed typed a connector.... Nope, no my gut instinct was right, the answer does not exist. Then why was I so afraid... because I was programmed to find that right answer. To compose an eloquent memo outlining the applicable law and applying it to the facts. Finally, I turned to my trusty fellow associate and he told me... its ok. Just simply tell parnter that you could not find the answer to issue x and how would he like you to proceed. Simple, huh? Still I feared him telling me I must be wrong, go back, keep looking! But low and behold, he did not. He simply said "I looked too and couldn't find anything." Wow, all that worrying for nothing. Another wise friend told me that you'd be surprised how often in the law the answer is "i have no lue".

I have also learned that in life, there is no right or wrong answer per se. It's funny, this is the argument I have most often with the hubs... I struggle with the quest to be right. I get that is not about actually being right, it about having my thought and feelings validated. To me right, it the perfect solution, knowing how to solve the problem, arriving at the destination because I navigated us there. I have been programmed to do this. Law school taught to pursue the quest for knowledge, to find the right answer.

Too bad this does not work out so well in life. Life, just as the law, is filled with grey area. Its finding the balance between what you client wants and what remedies allowed by law; between doing things your way and satisfying you MIL. There is a fine line in both law and life between being right and conceding that good is good enough, when knowing when to settle and when to take it the jury! I have to become more focused on a happy medium, rather than going for the win. Settling a case is not losing it, its just knowing when to do what is best for all the parties involved. Just as law requires a cost/benefit analysis, so does life, and marriage.~ The Illegal Blonde

Officially Official

So yeah, I passed the bar, but yesterday is became officially official as I was sworn in and received my bar number. And then it hit me... I have no clue what I am doing! Thank goodness for malpractice insurance!

But reality is that law school teaches you nothing except how to have a crazed sense of humor and leaves your with a warped sense of reality. I have learned more in the last two months than I did in three years of law school. I am blessed that my firm has actually taken the time to teach me. I have wonderful partners who give me feedback and advice. So thanks guys!

So here's to a lifetime of learning! ~The Illegal Blonde

Answers to Your (Dumb) Legal Questions

Q: If I get pulled over while drinking, should I decline the breathalizer?
A: Don't drink and drive!

Q: If I don't want my husband/wife to get any of my stuff when I die, what do I do?
A: Don't marry him/her?

Q: I don't think I should be taxed on ....
A: Move

Q: I'm a waiter/waitress and don't report my tips, is this illegal?
A: Chances are you know the anwer and are merely looking for justification.

Q: My neighbor doesn't mow, water, pick up his trash, his dog barks all night, he parks in front of my house, etc...
A: Move.... (or call the city and complain)

Q: This one time, a friend of mine....
A: Admit that you did whatever it is that you are about to lie and tell me your friend did, and then remember even if I represent you, I will still have to see you after this in social situations and if you would like to continue to be friends, seek another lawyer's advice!

Q: Do I need a will?
A: Do you want your family to fight about your stupid stuff after you die? YES, you do!

Pay to Play?

In light of the recent outcry of sexual harrassments by former Penn State football, I felt compelled to write about it.... sports. I know, I am a self-confessed sport, well hater is a strong word, but come on people we all know that I love certain teams and certain sports, but feel less than compelled to plant myself in front of the tube all day to watch 19 zillion games. But I do know a little about the law, so when sports (hub's fav thing) and law co-mingle I get excited!

The state of sports has been everything from perjury, can we say Barry Bonds, to paying athletes, Reggie Bush, but this is nothing new. For years colleges and universties have been buying and paying players. Think about it: athletes have different SAT score standards, GPA requirements, they get to register to for classes before everyone, and the university pays for them to have tutors! They never have to buy a stitch of athletic gear and rack up so many pairs of shoes and clothes they can be dressed for years after graduation. I mean I know that sponsors suchs as Nike and Adidas provide that stuff, but its the equivalent of paying them. Even worse perhaps is that some athletes manage to make money from playing via per diem.

When teams travel each athlete is provided with a certain sum of money to pay for meals, but yet ALL their meals are paid for (well at least at most major schools). Thus, these kids can bank!

Don't even get me started on the millions of dollars spent on TV! And granted, this is mostly college football, but baseball, basketball, they all do pretty well themselves. So its no wonder we have the problems we have. Nor should it come as a surprise that these same athletes get into trouble. They are mini-gods walking around with little to no consequences, neither do the coaches. The coaches make millions and teach their kids to be the same. And the media and even the NCAA does not do much to punish violators. Take USC for intance. They lost a heisman trophy and a season worth of wins, but yet they were featured on ESPN's College Gameday. What does this say? Sure your season may not count, but let's applaud you and feature your program for little ones everywhere.

So, people suggest we should pay them to play... well IMHO we already are. ~The Illegal Blonde

Just call me Esquire!

Yep, you heard me people, my  billable rate just went up! I am now an officially licensed attorney. Let the commencment of legal questions begin. Now I may have to sue the Texas Board of Law Examiners for IIED or my carpal tunnell from hitting refresh a million times, but hey I can right!

So what does this mean? That three years of blood, sweat, and tears were worth something. It's the rubber stamp on my career. Go me!

In all honesty though, I could not have done this without so many people. My hubs, my family (real and adopted), and my friends. I am blessed to be surrounded by loving, supportive people who only want the best for me. Thank you for enduring late nights, phone calls filled with tears, and an emotional rollar coaster! Now to celebrate! ~The Illegal Blonde

Messy Moments

Spending time with friends and family can lead to fun and memorable moments, but also some very messy ones. Tell us about the messiest moments that you’ll always remember!

If you know me, then you know that I am rather, well, clumsy and accident prone. I spilled coffee on myself the first 4 days of my new attorney job. I once was at dinner with a boyfriend's family and squirted lemon right into his dad's eye... See what I mean? But perhaps my most shining or messy moment involved salsa and my now-husband's kitchen.

Our thing is breakfast. We even served it at our reception. So every Sunday we either went out for breakfast or he cooked (its his meal!). Well I decided I would be ever so helpful and get out the salsa for our egg burritos. I got the giant Sam's size jug out of the fridge and set it on the counter. I then went ahead and unscrewed the cap to make sure it was fresh. I then got distracted, what's new, and walked away. I came back into the kitchen ready to dine and proceeded to shake the salsa bottle... and that's when the salsa hit the fan!

Salsa everywhere! My poor boyfriend's kitchen was covered in the hot, red stuff. Not to mention we was as well. So there stands my self-confessed, clean-freak of a boyfriend covered in salsa. Did I mention it was the chunky kind? I burst into tears. I was upset, embarressed and well just downright defeated. (This came only weeks after the great Cheerio-explosion). I did not hear from him for a good week.

No we laugh about this moment and every time I get the salsa out, he grabs its from me and offeres to help! Amazing how some of life's messy moments can turn into loving ones!

I received information about Clorox’s Bleach It Away campaign and am sharing my messy moment for the chance to win prizes from The SITS Girls. To learn more about the messy moment program, check out http://www.bleachitaway.com/.  Sharing your story on the Clorox fan page gets you entered for the chance to win $25,000 and daily prizes, and you can grab a coupon for Clorox® Regular Bleach.

Those Were the Days

As the fate of my futre hangs in the balance (hint hint bar exams results 1-2 days away) I thought it would be nice to remember the fun and not so fun times from law school!

Fun

• meeting my best friend and Maid of Honor
• cupcakes
• carrell dance parties
• the morning crew
• that time the kid next to me got called on in Torts and had no book and had to read from mine and the sentence involved sex
• after final round receptions
• bullshitting my way out of getting called on
• "You Get a Car" "You Get a Car!"
• a certain Property and Wills & Trusts Professor
• karoke
• Lindy Tour
• making some of my best friends!

Not So Fun

• Studying
• Finals
• BARBRI
• The Bar Exam
• being unprepared
• shelf-checks in foreign languages
• mid-terms, competition, comment deadline, and shelf-check all due in the same week
• DRAMA
• DRAMA
• PR
• getting sick away from home
• having no clue what your prof is talking about
• my first B, C, and D...
• did I mention DRAMA

Would I repeat the last three years? NO! Would I recommend law school to anyone? NO Would I trade the memories for $1M? NO Do I regret it? NO

Make every moment count, have no regrets, and when you do something, do it with all your heart, soul, and mind.

Be Seen, Be Heard!

I know I have totally screwed up the old adage of "be seen, nor heard," but its because in my line of work, you have to speak up... sometimes. As the newest associate (hopefully) attorney, and one of just three females, I have to make sure that I am seen as much as heard. By this I mean, I get to the office by 7:30 (which I still cannot manage to beat Boss in) and leave after Boss. Its's that extra hour that I am there before most other partners that makes a difference sometimes. So if that means 5am workouts to make, then that's what I do!

Being heard is also important. I know I have discussed my reluctance to actually speak with attorneys, but I know I must. But it doesn't always have to be about work. I make sure to go to lunch with the boys at least once a week, even when it gets awkward (note to self, watch more stupid-humor movies). The point is you have to make an effort to show people that you are a team player and can handle the work. Showing up early means committment. Now, I'm not saying to sleep in your office ( I know you all have heard horror stories from first-year associates). I am blessed (well  I am now) that I'm treated like a person. No over-bearing bosses who throw projects at you with no answer just for the heck of it, or projects for which they know the answer and just want to test you. No I work with rather well-adjusted people who have "lives" outside the office. Yes the work hard and often, but they also stress the importance of family.

So remember if something is worth it to you, be seen and heard! ~Illegal Blonde

The Countdown

Ok, so us lawyers take this thing called the bar. It's different in each state and in some states you just have to graduate (not fair Wisconsin, but come on who wants to practice in Wisconsin?). Well in Texas, its a three-day test from HE-double hockey sticks! (I'm not exagerating).

The first day you take a procedure & evidence exam and the practicum-type written exercise. Not bad. Day 2 you take the dreaded MBE (200 mutiple guess questions from hell (opps I said it)). Day 3: Texas really likes to stick it to us and we have state-specific essays. Yes, people essays, plural, as in 12 of them! They are over specific subjects and require immense amounts of memorization of laws. You get a small fact pattern and then BOOM! Give us the answer, who gets what, why, etc...

Oh, did I mention that you do this in a large convention center filled with what feels like thousands of people typing away... And you get to bring on a baggy that contains your keys, pencil, and if you proctor is nice kleenex? I was ok with days one and two (though a little upset about the capias debacle). Day three morning went swimmingly, and then the afternoon hit!

I got to an essay on trusts, trusts, yes not guadianship.... (thank you BARBRI), and froze. I mean I had like one of the best professors for trusts in the world (he did write a book on it) but I just could not remember this one little rule. Like the one little rule I needed to decide who gets what and why! panic.... hot sweats, red cheeks, dry-mouth, and then yes.... TEARS!

I sat there and changed my answer about 10 times and then just trusted my gut and stuck with one. I shook as I shut down my computer and left the room. Done, that was it, my entire life and career saved in cyberspace. I took my plastic baggy and headed to my car. I was brow-beaten, tired, emotional and just plain exhausted. I got in the car and called my mentor. I cried and she assured me I would be ok. It was the stress and exhaustion from the week. I know I know... but still she just did  not understand.

That was July 28. Since then I have gone on vacation, started a new job and worked for two months, all under the guise of passing this test. Yes, you read that right, July 28 and November 4, this Friday I find out the results. (yeah don't ask me why they feel the need to torture us for this long.) So the pressure and stress has hit me. I have just a few more days of hoping and waiting (and maybe a job) before I get the big results.

So I'll try to be patient and not worry, but come on people, its life or death here! JK but only a little. Waiting impatiently~Illegal Blonde

Please don't look at my nails

EEK! My nails look atrocious!  I mean yes, they have a nice nude shade of polish (Butter London's Yummy Yummy), but they are short, chipped and dry! Oh did I mention the hangnails? Oh for the days when I had a perfectly manicured hand. Now, I push paper all day, type a gazillion words, pulls files out of teeny-tiny places and wash my hands at least 30 times a day. This is why my nails look like hell!

I blame this on my job. I mean, I get up at 5, so caffine is a must, thus on cup number 3, my bladder is full, thus begins the constant trips to the potty room, which requires the copious amounts of handwashing, with sub-par soap and scalding water. Or maybe its the overstuffed files I week through every day in an attempt to "look like I'm doing something" or pretend I'm busy.

And then there is just the stress-related picking. I finally stoppped biting my nails,  but now its just picking. Which leads to chips, and hangnails! So, yes ladies, a bad-manicure is a work hazard in this profession. Guess it means I should keep a small kit in my desk and  give myself mini-manicures at lunch. Meanwhile, I guess I should get back to those discovery requests! ~The Illegal Blonde

Check Out This Great Chance at Cute Christmas Cards

http://happilyalawmama.blogspot.com/2011/10/shutterfly-christmas-card-giveaway-for.html?showComment=1319549216487#c1367305557287779007

I'm That Awkward Person I hate

I shy away from confrontation, would rather leave a memo in someone's box than hand it to them in person, I tell random stories that make no sense. I am random, awkward associate! (hand me a pink cape and brand me with an 'A') Ok, so maybe its not me that is awkward, maybe I am avoiding those awkwards moments in a partner office where I'm not sure if they want me to explain what I found or they just want me to hand them the research and leave. It's the internal debate I have when I approach their closed doors and ask myself, ok so do I knock and risk interruppting them, or do I just wait until they emerge and risk a weird conversation where I put myself out there and hope not to be wrong! I cave, I place the memo in their box and see if they respond.

I know I should be more assertive, but that is just not me. I think its my fear of rejection. I hate that feeling that I have done something wrong or that my work is sub-par. In my old life and job I didn't really have that same fear. Perhaps its because my bosses were women and I had worked with them since I was 18. Or that I was confident in my work, I knew what I was doing. Here, I'm still unsure and constantly wondering if I have totally screwed up. I mean, this job costs people money, etc... my old job was events and such (little less to lose.)

So I know I need to gain confidence and just walk in like I own the place, but until then I will sheepishly knock on doors and leave memos in in-boxes.

Just Call me Super Wife!

Yup, you heard it here people, I AM SUPER WIFE! Pork chops for dinner and a workout? Been There. Chili for dinner tonight? Done That!

When I finally left the office last night, and was slowly making my way home ( I promise I only rolled my eyes 5 times and said 3 curse words) I called hubs to ask him to turn on the oven so the pork chops could immedialty go in the oven. Well, I get home only to find hubs at neighbor's house borrwing a chainsaw (future post I'm sure). So I run in house, turn on oven, change into workout gear, sear pork chops, put them in oven and set timer. Hubs returns, I just roll my eyes.

I did my workout in the backyard and asked hubs to steam green beans with 10 minutes left on the chops. Baby steps for him. Finish workout, pull out dinner and we had a great dinner! I must have talked for about 30 minutes about the mindless things I did at work, from the crazy client we fired, to the awkward boss. It was so nice to just talk to him.

So dinner over, grab quick shower, back into the kitchen. Chopped three bell peppers, one large onion, one glove garlic and browned turkey meat. Set all this in fridge for the morning. Then I unwrapped new coffee maker and grinder, ground yummy vanilla hazelnut beans and set pot for the morning. Woke up this morning, got ready, put all the chili ingredients in the crockpot, brewed coffee, packed my lunch, fed the dog, gave dog two treats (she looked so sad that I was leaving) and headed out the door!

Did I also mention that Super Wife/Attorney also will be delivering window screens to be repaired after work today? Yes, that's me, new attorney by day, Super Wife/Cook/Maid/DogWalker by night!

But it was on Sale

Ok, so I know I am one of those boring lawyer people now, but hey a girl can still look good, right? So that is exactly why I spent half my paycheck and several hours shopping for the perfect "lawyer" wardrobe. I did not go as far as to sport the pink suit Elle wears in Legally Blonde 2, but I did manage to find some cute work-appropriate items.

I am a HUGE fan of Banana Republics suits. I actually have one in navy, grey, and now brown!

I also have the pants!

BR's suits are comfortable, and easy to wear! I also love that they come with both pants and skirt, so I can mix and match! I also decided I needed the "classic trench," but hey I'm a fashionista, so this one has a twist!

mine is lavender!

It's waterproof and so cute! Hello lawyer-chic! I also bought several pair of pants, as one of our secretarys pointed out that she had never seen me wear slacks. It's true, other than suit pants, I did not own a pair of slacks that fit me anymore! So, Ann Taylor Loft scored major points with their slack selection. From wide-leg, to basic black, I am covered!

Now I can add in several bold colored sweaters and I am ready for the office, or court-room. (not that I will see a courtroom anytime soon) So, I may not be licensed yet, but I look great pretending!

Make every blonde moment count

I learned today that one of my sorority sisters passed away suddenly. 27 years old. It seems so unfair. She was young, vivacious and beautiful. She was a blonde too, a flight attendant and ready to take on the world. Life is so precious and her passing has made me realize this even more.

Live for today, live like today is your last day. Smile at the small things and revel in the rays of God's gifts. Make every blonde moment count!

Law of the Day

Hearsay:  a statement, other than one made by the declarant while testifying at the trial or hearing, offered in evidence to prove the truth of the matter asserted.

Example:

Did you hear her say there is a sale at Neiman's?

Me

Hi! Illegally Blonde here: 29 years old, yesterday... decided three years ago to quit my wonderful job at my alma mater and head to law school! {Insert cheesy Legally Blonde quote here}So I took my high heels and my ex-pageant queen self to school. Fast forward three years later, and here I am: Newlywed, newly graduated, and new homeowner. This is my life, I'm a self-confessed fashionista (on a budget), foodie ( a healthy one), and lawyer (who works with mostly men)! Enjoy!