Today is Good

Today is Good Friday. Take time today to reflect and rejoice in all your blessings. This Good Friday I want to share with you all my blessings:

• I am blessed to have a a job that allows me to grow and learn. I work with wonderful people who care about not only my professional development, but me personally.
• I have two puppies, that's right you heard me 2! Yesterday I brought Sophie Diane home. Now, big sister Chloe is not so sure of this (and I am running on 2 hours of sleep) but they are true blessings.
• I am blessed to have friends who support me no matter what. They have shown me true kindness and grace.
• I have a church home that embraces me, lifts me up and allows me to pursue Christ everyday.
• To live in a country that allows me so much freedom. I am an educated woman, with has a good job and so much ahead of her.
• I am blessed to have seen and experienced love.
• I am blessed to have seen the love of Christ, that he died so that I could live.

Happy Good Friday all.

It's Ok Thursday {Testament Edition}

  It's Thursday y'all which means I am linking up with Neely and Amber to let you know what' ok with me this week. Well, this week I am going slightly off the normal outline to share something more important with you because this week I have learned, It's Ok to Have faith.  

I have the awesome privilege to be a part of a group of Christian men and women who share in His word each week as we dine and worship together. Last night we did something new and split into men and women to truly share with each other. The goal: transparency. To say I was scared, is an understatement. I have always felt it was ok to believe and have faith, but to be honest, open, and vulnerable to a group of people, was not something I had experienced like this. Sure I can get in front of a group of people and talk about my experience with domestic violence, but to expose myself to people when it comes to my faith, was scary. So, lesson 1, its OK to be vulnerable.

 

I sat around the dinner table and listened to some of the other women speak. We prayed for each other and then I knew I needed to do it. I needed to share. I had sat in the group of people for almost two months, listening, learning, and experiencing, but I had yet to let Him speak through me. Part of me was always scared that the words would not come out right, or I would not be able to conjure up the perfect verse, or heck even find the book of the Bible we were in in my own Bible. Its just not something I had been taught.

 

It was in that moment that I got it. It's ok to walk by faith and not by sight. It's ok to doubt. It's ok to question. It's ok to be fearful. Why? Because Christ will never stop loving you. He will guide you, show you, walk with you, and give you the words when you feel silent. He fills every void, every gap, he never waivers and is always there even when you stray.

 

After I shared I felt healed. All the anger, pain, guilt, and shame was washed away. When I allowed myself to truly see and hear Him, I was given His grace. It was ok to be me. I sat around that table and never once did I feel judged-- I felt loved, cherished, supported. This group of women accepted me because He accepts me.

 

Life has not always been easy for me, its not supposed to be easy for anyone. However, I often felt like He had turned away from me, forgotten me, was angry with me. I was angry with Him. How could He let me endure all the pain and struggles I have endured. How could he let His child see so much in 30 short years? And then I remembered, it is through the weak and broken that His message becomes clear. He uses those who you least expect to be His voice and witness. He doesn't give you anything you cannot handle. He will always provide you the tools you need to survive. I guess in a way He must think I am pretty strong. I am His messenger. I am His voice to others. Whether its speaking to others about overcoming obstacles, setting goals, surviving tragedy--I have the awesome ability to show others that He is the reason I am here.

 

So, this Thursday I share with you why it's OK to Believe. Tomorrow is Good Friday and Sunday, Easter. These next few days I challenge each of you to be His witness. Remember, He gave His only son for us, Christ died so that we could live.

It Will Make You Evil

It's true people, going to law school and being a lawyer can make you evil. Lawyers are a cult of type-A, overinflated egotistical people who thrive on being right. We connive, plot, strategize on how to be the best, overcome any objection and bill you to death.

Best advice:  DO NOT GO TO LAW SCHOOL, IT WILL  MAKE YOU EVIL. It will also make you boring, and pessimistic. I know I should be touting my profession from the rooftop, saying come all ye, join the throng of the few, the proud, the lawyer, the noble profession. But I tell anyone who even mentions law school to not go.

I know it sounds awful, but I think its because most people have no clue what they are getting themselves into. You should not go to law school if you: 1) are weak; 2) like to sleep; 3) don;'t know what else to do; 4) everyone in my family is one; 5) they make a lot of money; or 6) hate to read. (These are just a few, I can list for days).

Law school is something you have to commit wholeheartedly to. You have to understand it will warp your sense of reality and force you to think differently. Also, law school does not teach you to be a lawyer, just to "think" like one. If you think for one minute there will be a lovely "right" answer for you to IRAC every time, you are mistaken my friend. You will have to make up law on occasion, draw inferences where there are none to be seen, spend hours on end rewriting a paragraph so that you make the language clear enough, but not too clear as you must CYA in case the court does not go your way. You will labor hours over research only to find there is no answer and hey, they don;t need it anymore and your time is not billable.

You will find that most people are well, dumb. Yes dumb. People do dumb things and you will be expected to fix them. People who you went to high school with will see you are  lawyer on Facebook and automatically think you can help them out or give them a discount. I work for a firm people, I do not control my rates or my billable requirements and I do not work for free.

Yes, law school makes you evil. It brings out your inner b!tch and hardens you. You know it has fully happened when you drive in your car and scream to the person who cut you off, "go ahead and hit me, I will sue you." Of you totally chew out some poor car salesman for wanting you to sign a blanket power of attorney to turn your lease car in... hello, you do not need that, just a limited one dude and DO NOT CALL ME SWEETHEART!

I may be blonde, I may be pretty, but beware: I know a lot more big words than you do and I know how to properly use them.

True Life {The Smoke Detector)

Seriously, its what put me over the edge. I walked into my house after church and lunch to my sweet Chloe going nutso in the living room. She was shaking and crying and just not right. Then I heard it, a chirping, squeaking of sorts. My immediate thought? Mouse! Then I heard it again.

The smoke detector. So I climbed up in a chair to remove the battery and get this sucker working again. I'm standing there arms raised, trying so hard to remove the cover and get the battery out, meanwhile the dog is on the chair, practically climbing my leg from fear. I get the  cover off, remove the battery and say "Oh sh!t" I mean who has a 9 volt battery just laying around? Then it chirps again. I blow all the dust out and wait.... Chirp. I then try to replace the battery. No luck. That thing will not go  back in. I shove, push, cram... nada. Chirp!

I climb down reassess, rest my arms. I try again. Chirp! The battery just will not go in. K texts, I asked her to bring 9V battery when she comes. Chirp. I lay down with dog freaking out, detector chirping no man in sight. K arrives with BF in tow and new batter. We replace.... Chirp! ARGHHHH. We take out, blow replace, Chirp! K's bf removes the whole thing from the ceiling. Chirp! I am about to go mad. There I stand, crying. Full on panic mode. I look like something out of a Lifetime movie gone bad. Chirp! Chloe is shaking and clinging to K's BF. Then she does it, K has a solution.

Yup. She put in the freezer. Right next to the broccoli and turkey meat. Guess what? No Chirp. Now, I'm not sure how to explain to the maintenance man why its there, but it is. Sometimes simple measures work the best!

Friday's Confessions {Blonde Style}

Yes, you heard me, the blonde is back! I know she took a hiatus to temporarily become a brunette, but alas, I just did not feel like myself and so, Blonde is back!

 

So, here are my confessions this week...

 

 

I confess... I missed the blonde so much, I was just not "me" without it.

 

I confess... I have not been able to concentrate lately at work, so I have been napping at lunch.

 

I confess... I was so frazzled yesterday I had to take 20 minutes and clean/organize my office.

 

I confess... I have been a bad puppy momma this week, poor baby has not had any mom time this week due to my hectic schedule and she looked so sad when I dropped her off at the groomer this morning.

 

I confess... I sometimes feel closer to my blog friends than my IRL friends.

My super cute brother and our doggies!

I confess... I am uber excited to get my new couch today and finally get the apt looking legit.

 

I confess... I want to steal my brother's dog,  because she is so darn sweet!

 

I confess... I have been engaging in way too much retail therapy as of late. Loft quit having sales and sending me emails that goes for you Banana too!

 

I confess... I do not like sushi. Yeah I know. I've tried, just not for me.

 

I confess...  I am in desperate need of a vacation and I am plotting one soon!

 

I confess... I am jealous of all of those bloggers at Blissdom!

 

I confess... Life is pretty good right now. I am blessed with good friends, good family, good wine and God!

 

What do you confess this week?

It's Ok Thursday

Although I am so jealous of Neely being at Blissdom, I am excited because in one week we are having our first Blate! You would think for two people who live 30 miles apart we could figure this out, but alas, we shall meet! Yay!! Can you tell I'm uber excited? Anywho, here is what's ok with me this week.

Its OK....

- to take a 30 minute power nap at your desk after lunch (every day this week)

- to be obsessed with your dog

- to leave dishes in the sink for a couple days when you live alone, right?

- to sit at Bible study and have no clue how these people know exactly what to say each and every time and I kind of stare off in the distance

- to still love Grey's Anatomy even though I know that its so far off from reality these days ( I mean what doctors survive that many tragedies?)

- to have every intention of doing a DIY project on your dining chairs but choose to sleep instead

- to be jealous of everyone who is going on vacation these days while I sit and wallow away in my office

- that sometimes I admit I have no clue what I am doing, where I'm going, or what I hope to be

- to not know whether to text or call or just give up!

- to miss my best friend K more than she knows and wish she would just move here with me and we can be spinsters together (ok well not spinsters)

- to spend more on your dog's haircut than your own

- to splurge on clothes when you actually saved like a bunch (thank you Loft)

I'm A Survivor

If you  have been reading this blog for any given amount of time you have probably heard me talk about 1) pageants; or 2) my personal story and again. And if you not, then welcome and I talk a lot about being a former crownhead and domestic violence awareness.

Well, last night I had the honor of being the keynote speaker for the Safe Haven's Safe Living graduation. Safe Haven is a local battered women's shelter and resource center in my hometown. They offer a two year program to women who comes from abusive relationships. This program gives these women the skills and resources to pay off debt, educate themselves and begin new lives. I met 5 inspiring women last night who have overcome obstacles and together paid off over 62,000 in debt in just 24 months! Kudos to these women. They truly inspire me.

I was overwhelmed with the response I got from the audience about my story and my life. I get asked sometimes if its hard for me to talk about my past, and the answer is a mixed bag. I guess over time I have become somewhat immune to the emotions and others its like it all happened yesterday. Speaking is cathartic for me. Its one way to heal and move on. Its also a way to give back. I truly feel that its God's calling for me to continue to spread my message in hopes that other women, children, etc... will never go through what I endured. I am His messenger of hope.

I challenge all of you today to do something for me. Look around you, at the women you care about and realize that 1 in 4 of them will be affected by domestic violence in your lifetime. Remember they are women just like you and me, they walk amongst you. They do not all have bruises or scars from abuse... they do, however, have emotional scars that they will carry with them for a lifetime. Don't judge, be kind. Lend a hand, an ear, a smile.