Appalled? Tell me about it. I mean had the situation warranted the use of such word, perhaps (not that any situation warrants that word) but still... I know, I know he said it out of anger and pain, but come on.Truth is the big D is hard. Its akin to death. I mean you literally have lost someone. Its the death of a relationship. Its hard. Its even worse when you have managed to be civil through the whole thing. I cried. Right there in my office, cried, door open, bawling on the phone.
The worst part? I let it affect the rest of my day and my work-product. (Note to self: Lynn should not practice law while mildly upset). I managed to perform a comedy or errors on some depo notices and had to call opposing counsel to ask him to politely just throw away that last fax... promise me just throw it away....
So, I decided that my c-word self would just skip group and get my stress relief run on... Yeah didn't help. What helps? My CG family. They know what I need, know how to comfort me and well they care. They do not judge, though I think C may have been mildly taken aback by my use of the C word. However, after a small cry and chit chat things were better. Its not easy, but I am not sure what I would do without them. So, we boiled some craw fish, ate some spicy food and had a glorious fellowship.
Silver lining you ask? A lil wine when I got home and Clark Kent to the rescue!
So, let's see what's ok with me this week....
It's OK....
to cry in your office after being called that word
to seek comfort in the Lord and the children he sends to lift us up
to pray through the hard times
to want to call M a zillion other choice things, but not (hello big girl pants)
to ask for help when you need it
to just want to be held all night
that I managed to eat dessert everyday last week and sometimes twice
to give in when you are scared
to fall
to be Me... everyday, all day.
How RUDE! And hurtful. That is just beyond called for. In any situation. No matter what. I am SO sorry that you had to deal with that - that would have made me cry too. Just know that you are definitely not a 'c' word. And never will be. And good for you for being the bigger person. It's pretty obvious that you are moving in the right direction now...Without him. Love you sweet girl! Glad your small group was able to help you keep your chin up last night.
ReplyDeleteOh sweet sweet girl, I'm here for you! I am so mad right now, I can't see straight, but I'm praying for you too!
ReplyDeleteYou are wonderful, lovely, gorgeous, fun, and full of amazing grace and faith, he can't TOUCH THAT!
LOVE YOU SWEET GIRL!!! xoxo
I LOL'd at the depo situation - I have those days, too!
ReplyDeleteAnd for all the other letters (C, D, FML...) just remember: One day at a time. That's all you can do! :)
Someone called you CUTE?! ;) Kidding. I hear ya... My husband and I got in a pretty nasty fight the other night and he used a word that really hurt me. I've dated some jerk guys and even they never used that word... But, at the end of the day, sometimes emotions take over and I'm guessing the C word just came out in the heat of the moment. Because you are FAR FROM IT!!
ReplyDeleteAww, I'm so sorry you got called that awful word. You most definitely are NOT. I also hate it ruined your day. I am the same way, I'll let something like that ruin my day. And It's definitely OKAY! xoxo
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