Answers to Your (Dumb) Legal Questions

Q: If I get pulled over while drinking, should I decline the breathalizer?
A: Don't drink and drive!

Q: If I don't want my husband/wife to get any of my stuff when I die, what do I do?
A: Don't marry him/her?

Q: I don't think I should be taxed on ....
A: Move

Q: I'm a waiter/waitress and don't report my tips, is this illegal?
A: Chances are you know the anwer and are merely looking for justification.

Q: My neighbor doesn't mow, water, pick up his trash, his dog barks all night, he parks in front of my house, etc...
A: Move.... (or call the city and complain)

Q: This one time, a friend of mine....
A: Admit that you did whatever it is that you are about to lie and tell me your friend did, and then remember even if I represent you, I will still have to see you after this in social situations and if you would like to continue to be friends, seek another lawyer's advice!

Q: Do I need a will?
A: Do you want your family to fight about your stupid stuff after you die? YES, you do!

Pay to Play?

In light of the recent outcry of sexual harrassments by former Penn State football, I felt compelled to write about it.... sports. I know, I am a self-confessed sport, well hater is a strong word, but come on people we all know that I love certain teams and certain sports, but feel less than compelled to plant myself in front of the tube all day to watch 19 zillion games. But I do know a little about the law, so when sports (hub's fav thing) and law co-mingle I get excited!

The state of sports has been everything from perjury, can we say Barry Bonds, to paying athletes, Reggie Bush, but this is nothing new. For years colleges and universties have been buying and paying players. Think about it: athletes have different SAT score standards, GPA requirements, they get to register to for classes before everyone, and the university pays for them to have tutors! They never have to buy a stitch of athletic gear and rack up so many pairs of shoes and clothes they can be dressed for years after graduation. I mean I know that sponsors suchs as Nike and Adidas provide that stuff, but its the equivalent of paying them. Even worse perhaps is that some athletes manage to make money from playing via per diem.

When teams travel each athlete is provided with a certain sum of money to pay for meals, but yet ALL their meals are paid for (well at least at most major schools). Thus, these kids can bank!

Don't even get me started on the millions of dollars spent on TV! And granted, this is mostly college football, but baseball, basketball, they all do pretty well themselves. So its no wonder we have the problems we have. Nor should it come as a surprise that these same athletes get into trouble. They are mini-gods walking around with little to no consequences, neither do the coaches. The coaches make millions and teach their kids to be the same. And the media and even the NCAA does not do much to punish violators. Take USC for intance. They lost a heisman trophy and a season worth of wins, but yet they were featured on ESPN's College Gameday. What does this say? Sure your season may not count, but let's applaud you and feature your program for little ones everywhere.

So, people suggest we should pay them to play... well IMHO we already are. ~The Illegal Blonde

Just call me Esquire!

Yep, you heard me people, my  billable rate just went up! I am now an officially licensed attorney. Let the commencment of legal questions begin. Now I may have to sue the Texas Board of Law Examiners for IIED or my carpal tunnell from hitting refresh a million times, but hey I can right!

So what does this mean? That three years of blood, sweat, and tears were worth something. It's the rubber stamp on my career. Go me!

In all honesty though, I could not have done this without so many people. My hubs, my family (real and adopted), and my friends. I am blessed to be surrounded by loving, supportive people who only want the best for me. Thank you for enduring late nights, phone calls filled with tears, and an emotional rollar coaster! Now to celebrate! ~The Illegal Blonde

Messy Moments

Spending time with friends and family can lead to fun and memorable moments, but also some very messy ones. Tell us about the messiest moments that you’ll always remember!

If you know me, then you know that I am rather, well, clumsy and accident prone. I spilled coffee on myself the first 4 days of my new attorney job. I once was at dinner with a boyfriend's family and squirted lemon right into his dad's eye... See what I mean? But perhaps my most shining or messy moment involved salsa and my now-husband's kitchen.

Our thing is breakfast. We even served it at our reception. So every Sunday we either went out for breakfast or he cooked (its his meal!). Well I decided I would be ever so helpful and get out the salsa for our egg burritos. I got the giant Sam's size jug out of the fridge and set it on the counter. I then went ahead and unscrewed the cap to make sure it was fresh. I then got distracted, what's new, and walked away. I came back into the kitchen ready to dine and proceeded to shake the salsa bottle... and that's when the salsa hit the fan!

Salsa everywhere! My poor boyfriend's kitchen was covered in the hot, red stuff. Not to mention we was as well. So there stands my self-confessed, clean-freak of a boyfriend covered in salsa. Did I mention it was the chunky kind? I burst into tears. I was upset, embarressed and well just downright defeated. (This came only weeks after the great Cheerio-explosion). I did not hear from him for a good week.

No we laugh about this moment and every time I get the salsa out, he grabs its from me and offeres to help! Amazing how some of life's messy moments can turn into loving ones!

I received information about Clorox’s Bleach It Away campaign and am sharing my messy moment for the chance to win prizes from The SITS Girls. To learn more about the messy moment program, check out http://www.bleachitaway.com/.  Sharing your story on the Clorox fan page gets you entered for the chance to win $25,000 and daily prizes, and you can grab a coupon for Clorox® Regular Bleach.

Those Were the Days

As the fate of my futre hangs in the balance (hint hint bar exams results 1-2 days away) I thought it would be nice to remember the fun and not so fun times from law school!

Fun

• meeting my best friend and Maid of Honor
• cupcakes
• carrell dance parties
• the morning crew
• that time the kid next to me got called on in Torts and had no book and had to read from mine and the sentence involved sex
• after final round receptions
• bullshitting my way out of getting called on
• "You Get a Car" "You Get a Car!"
• a certain Property and Wills & Trusts Professor
• karoke
• Lindy Tour
• making some of my best friends!

Not So Fun

• Studying
• Finals
• BARBRI
• The Bar Exam
• being unprepared
• shelf-checks in foreign languages
• mid-terms, competition, comment deadline, and shelf-check all due in the same week
• DRAMA
• DRAMA
• PR
• getting sick away from home
• having no clue what your prof is talking about
• my first B, C, and D...
• did I mention DRAMA

Would I repeat the last three years? NO! Would I recommend law school to anyone? NO Would I trade the memories for $1M? NO Do I regret it? NO

Make every moment count, have no regrets, and when you do something, do it with all your heart, soul, and mind.

Be Seen, Be Heard!

I know I have totally screwed up the old adage of "be seen, nor heard," but its because in my line of work, you have to speak up... sometimes. As the newest associate (hopefully) attorney, and one of just three females, I have to make sure that I am seen as much as heard. By this I mean, I get to the office by 7:30 (which I still cannot manage to beat Boss in) and leave after Boss. Its's that extra hour that I am there before most other partners that makes a difference sometimes. So if that means 5am workouts to make, then that's what I do!

Being heard is also important. I know I have discussed my reluctance to actually speak with attorneys, but I know I must. But it doesn't always have to be about work. I make sure to go to lunch with the boys at least once a week, even when it gets awkward (note to self, watch more stupid-humor movies). The point is you have to make an effort to show people that you are a team player and can handle the work. Showing up early means committment. Now, I'm not saying to sleep in your office ( I know you all have heard horror stories from first-year associates). I am blessed (well  I am now) that I'm treated like a person. No over-bearing bosses who throw projects at you with no answer just for the heck of it, or projects for which they know the answer and just want to test you. No I work with rather well-adjusted people who have "lives" outside the office. Yes the work hard and often, but they also stress the importance of family.

So remember if something is worth it to you, be seen and heard! ~Illegal Blonde