I'm sitting here Sunday preparing for the week, ya know... laundry, cleaning, meal prep, dog walking, yard work.... all the sexy things. As I was reflecting on my weekend and watching numerous reruns of Devious Maids (lord I am addicted to it) I got to thinking about how for the first time in a very long time I am happy. I was trying to think about something for me to complain about and nothing came. Sure work has been super busy and stressful, but that's life and sure I am driving in overspeed towards my 31st birthday, but I am ok with it and sure I am unmarried with a mortgage and two dogs, but it makes me happy.
This is my life lately. I.AM.HAPPY!!!!
I began a 10-week program through my church this weekend called Redemption Groups. Its described as the rest stop along the highway of living out the gospel. A Redemption Group is an intense small group that digs deep into difficult and seldom-discussed areas of life, such as abuse, addiction, and trials of all sorts. The participants are in the midst of all sorts of struggles and sin from addictions, eating disorders, abuse, marital struggle, pride, and self-righteousness. I laugh at the term rest stop as I don't feel restful, but I get it.
The weekend starts with each of us telling our "story." Imagine a room full of people you don't know baring it all--the good, the bad, the ugly and the shameful. All.Out.There.
Its emotional and exhausting and emotionally exhausting, but I am excited. I am excited to see how the Lord works in my life the next 10 weeks. I am eager to see what He shows me and tells me and hoping He will further open my heart to him.
I have been extremely loved as I begin this process. My city group and church family have poured love in my heart and have been so supportive. I have also found support in the people I hold close.
Its what got me thinking about love and good ole Etta James popped into my head. We all want it. That Sunday Kind of Love. We search for it, hope for it and many even Pray for it.
For some of us we have thought about it since we were little girls, playing wedding or coupling up at school. We put posters of boys on our walls and draw hearts and flowers and pretend writing their last name with our first... (ok so I may still do this...) But the thing is, we want it, crave it, need it to feel complete. Love that is true, genuine and lasts through Sunday. Real, honesty unconditional Love. Christ's love.
I have found that love. Its wonderful. It wraps me in its arms at night, kisses me good morning, holds my hand and fulfills me. Its real and raw. It knows all my secrets, fears and insecurities and continues to love me. Its a love like no other because it asks nothing in return. Its my Sunday Kind of Love.