Blogtember: One Moment in Time

Tuesday, September 10: Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn.

 

 

 

Wow, one moment? one distinct moment in which my life took a turn... I could describe a thousand moments from choosing TCU, coming home from London instead of staying, leaving my job in Austin for TCU, choosing Tech for law school and my marriage, the Big D... but the one moment that has taken my life on a totally uncharted path all started with a message to K on gchat about church.

 

A couple weeks later I had lunch with her and shared what was going on in my life with her and that Sunday I met her and her hubs at The Paradox. Looking back I had no idea how much my life would change or how God was literally pushing me forward towards this. I can't even remember why I asked K about it, I just was compelled to do so.

 

My faith had always been important to me, but I admit I strayed from it after law school and during my marriage. It was hard because M was not religious at all, nor raised that way, so it was often easier to just become a holiday Catholic. Yes, I prayed and had my quiet devotional time with God, but it wasn't the same as having that constant Christian family surrounding  me. Little by little, I just gave up on trying to get M to come with me and I quiet going altogether.

 

So, back to my story... I showed up at The Paradox with full warning from K about how things would be and how it would be different than what I was used to. I admit at first it was strange. The music was different, the people were different, the message was different, heck I was wearing jeans. I looked around and just felt home. I was amazed at the glory of God inside this small ballroom, filling people with joy. It wasn't the typical Mass scene where everyone went through the motions and couldn't wait for communion so they could sneak out.

 

The people were compelled by Christ, moved by His spirit and wanted to be there.

 

I joined K and B that Wednesday for City Group and I was just hooked. I felt most at peace when I was surrounded by the people here. Sure, I was scared and often didn't say much when we sat down to discuss that week's sermon or subject matter, but I felt safe. Each week I felt more and more called to open my eyes, ears and mostly heart to the truth spoken and the message  put forth. Some days I think it was just comforting that no one there "knew" my struggles, they just knew me. The more they got to know me and my story, the more they loved me and cared for me and truly became my family.

 

I know my turning to Him during my divorce was shocking to some people. I know I had experienced some pushback and worry from people very close to me. I know they just worried about me and mostly hoped I wasn't being swept up into some sort of cult. Cult... I looked up the word cult:

 

5

a : great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work (as a film or book); especially : such devotion regarded as a literary or intellectual fad

 

b : the object of such devotion

 c : a usually small group of people characterized by such devotion

 

Well, if my devotion to Christ and His beliefs are bad, then I guess I'm going to hell heaven.

 

My point, that moment, the one where I decided that my life could go one of two ways and I choose the road less travelled, the harder course so to speak, it changed my life. It set me on a path of finding myself and learning that in this dirty place we call the world, cleanliness is provided, grace is given, and a fresh start is only a prayer away.

 

It hasn't always been easy. There have been times of trial and tribulation, doubt, anger, even resentment, but then I can look back and see why. Why He put me there or placed a person in my life or sent me through a time of struggle and suffering.

 

So, now 7 months later, my life is so different and not just the obvious. I can breathe without nausea, drive home without having a panic attack, let my shoulders relax; I love myself and my life; and I have been blessed with a second change at life. I am now surrounded by a family of believers (who showed up in masse Sunday at the housewarming), my friends who are truly my friends, my family and colleagues who have been supportive and a person who loves me for me. To say I am blessed is an understatement really. For the first time in a very long time I am truly happy.

 

So, thank you K for being that constant source of love, spiritual guidance and never-failing support. Thank you for bringing The Paradox into my life and more importantly for showing me that I am worthy of His love.

 

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20