Blogtember: Changing the E for an I

 

Monday, September 9: Take this short personality test and respond to your results.

 

well, this one surprised me. This is the first time I have ever taken this and come out as an introvert!

 

INFJ

 

Introvert(11%)  iNtuitive(19%)  Feeling(38%)  Judging(33%)

• You have slight preference of Introversion over Extraversion (11%)
• You have slight preference of Intuition over Sensing (19%)
• You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (38%)
• You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (33%)

To say this surprised me, is an understatement. I have always been, on paper, and in my mind and extrovert. But I have realized the older I got, and due to  being in my last relationship and marriage that I became more inward focused. I tended to shy away from outspokeness and being the "center of attention." I prefer quiet moments at hone to loud party atmosphere. But here is what INFJ means for me:

INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.
INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. (This is totally me...) On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. (Ya think? hello I blog...)  Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.

I read this several times and just keep thinking, yup that's me. I can remember taking this in college during orientation staff training and even this time I found myself wanting to pick the answers that made me sound more fun or outgoing, but this time I didn't. I realized that there is a difference between how I want to be perceived and who I truly am. I think that is perhaps the biggest realization on my life right now. I have worked so hard to be who I thought I needed to be or act  how I people expected me to, but that I was never truly happy because I was always putting on an act.

Sure, I am outgoing at times, and silly, and loud and can be a bit obnoxious I'm sure. But truly, I like to look in from the outside, enjoy quiet times, and I feel, a lot. I feel for myself, for other people, even for those I don't. I think and analyze... I like rules. I like to live between the lines 99% of the time. This is why I think some relationships have failed for me. I have tried to be someone i'm not and only those people who can realize that and see it can really see me. I think M tried, but he also never adapted with me. As I got older and more educated I evolved and he stayed the same. I needed someone who could see me.

As a good friend said to me I need someone who respects me and my feelings, who listens and values my opinions, who stands up for me, but knows when to let my take the spotlight. This person needs to get the diverse nature of my personality: hold me when I'm sad and let me fret when I'm upset.

Funny how one small letter can put life into perspective for you. Realizing that its ok to be an introvert and it doesn't mean I'm not fun, just means I express myself differently than I did at 20.