How do you Know?

How do you know?

Its when you wake up and realize how far you have come? When you is the real you and not the person you became. When you have embraced the fact that not everyone will be like him and you do not have to be like that you. Is it when you have given yourself enough time to recover, to grieve, be angry, scared, upset. It is when you know the person you are today, is truly the person you are.

How do you know?

Its when the feeling of guilt goes away. When that person who used to be one-half of another person lets you go. When that guilt loosens its grip and say to you, its ok. Is it when you stop feeling like you are a bad person for finding something or someone that makes you happy.

How do you know?

Is it when the anger subsides and the bitterness slides away? Is it when you no longer them all as evil and exploding canons waiting to hurt you? Is it when you say his name and anger no longer quells in your heart.

How do you know?

It is when you finally stop thinking of your life in terms of when M and I or "we" used to, or man this one time... or in "our" house. Is it when you finally lay his ghost to rest, when you put that part of your life away.

How do you know?

Is it when you are happy... on your own. When you can fill up your own time with things you like and are content. It is when you sincerely enjoy your life as you, and not one-half of another person. Is it when you are not trying to fill that void, but are looking to complement you.

How do you know?

Is it when you can do things alone? Eat, movies, go out, sit at Starbuck's and read.... alone. When you have filled your life with His love and not his love.

How do you know?

Is it when you are emotionally ready? When you have found resolve in your situation and have decided to live in the now and not in the past? Is it when you let your guard down? When you don't suspect every person will be just like him. Is it when you can see that most people are inherently decent, loyal, loving and are looking for you just as ardently as you are looking for them? Is it when you trust you heart to someone else?

How do you  know?

Is it when you don't compromise anymore. Well you do but not the things most important to you. When you  can put your foot down early and say, no, this isn't what I want. When you realize you cannot change them and that's ok. Is it when you can see that you do not have to give up what you really want for someone else.

How do you  know?

Well, you just do. It may take some time and trial and error and you may hurt people along the way. You may revert into old habits, move too fast, move too slow, take 5 steps back for every forward, but then you get it. You stop pushing on the proverbial "bruise" on your heart and realize its not there.

How do you know when you're ready to love again?