#totalsocial

I am linking up with my fellow DFW bloggers Sarah & Helene ( I will still love them even though they reside on the other side of the Trinity). Its total social ya'll! Find people, connect with people, its an all social media crazy day. The theme this week is firsts. So you can link up anyway you want: facebook, instgram, blogger, twitter, just use the hashtag #firsttotalsocial!

Ok, so I may have thought way too hard about this. What "first" did I want to share. First love? First heartbreak (same person). First time? (cause we all know those are great). First day of something.... I thought about my first blog post, but let's face it, it was boring and well just about me, the stats ya know. So... I decided to go with my first "real" raw post. I give you the first post, where I shared so much about myself with the world. And for those of you who haven't been reading since October 14, 2011 (first post), it will give you some insight into me. So without further ado:

I was having a conversation with a fellow lawyer yesterday, and I asked him why he went to law school. He came back with some smartass answer and proceeded to say, well why did you go to law school? I went with my first answer, which is what I normally say when people ask me this question. I went because its something I always wanted to do. People then say, well didn't you work at your alma mater after undergrad, then why not law school then... I come up with a canned answer about how I was just exhausted of school after undergrad and needed a break, and wanted to save money, blah, blah, blah..... It seems to passify people and I go on about my day. But the truth is I know exactly why I went to law school and exactly why I waited.

Two days before I turned 9, my father was taken into custody in the parking lot of a mall. No big deal you say, well for me it was. It was in the newspaper and I'm pretty sure it garnered a small spot on the evening news. At the age of 9 I didn't really understand what happened, and its probably better I didn't. I just know that my father stood trial and my grandparents came to town, but I was not to see them. I was sheltered from the harsh reality that my father was a convicted felon.

I grew up knowing that my father was in jail, but I never really understood why until I was 22. Sure I often wondered what he did, and asked my mother, but I was met with canned answers and I never pressed for more. My mother was protecting me, protecting her baby girl. She tells me that I will understand someday when I have children, and I know I will.

But the truth is, when my father went to prison, the course of my life changed. I no longer wanted to be a "mummy doctor" (which I later learned was an OBGYN, and let's face it, I don't do blood well) and decided I wanted to be a lawyer.  When I was in junior high I got involved in a great program called Teen Court. It was run by the city and allowed teens with Class C misdemeanors to be judged by a jury of their peers and defended and prosecuted by teens. They were given community service hours in lieu of a fine, and successful completion allowed their record to be cleared. I loved my time in this program serving as both a defense and prosecution attorney. I volunteered over 500+ hours during 5 years and gained invalueable skills and lifelong friends.

It's amazing that I managed to finish high school, college, and law school without most people knowing who I really was. It's not that I was ashamed per se, its more that I didn't now anyone to look at me and say poor girl... The truth is, had I not faced the obstacles I would not be who and where I am today.

Flash forward to my junior year of college when I learned the truth. Finally someone was complety honest with me. I learned that my father was not who I thought he was. My childhood was not some fantasy princess land. What my father did is wrong. How my family dealt with it was probably wrong too. Keeping details from me taught me that lies were okay and if you just don't deal with your problems, then they don't exsit. WRONG... on so many levels. I was a 21 year old woman who was unable to deal with emotions, have a stable relationship and had lied so many times I didn't know the truth. The last thing I wanted to do was law--I wanted to escape.

And I got my chance. My senior year of college I was accepted into a study abroad program in London, just in time. In December my father was released from prison and I was afraid he would find me. I was afraid something bad would happen. What that bad thing was I don't know, but it was what I was taught--run, hide, and don't tell anyone. So January 2005 I headed off to jolly ole England. I spent 4 months in bliss! I interned at a great church, travelled Europe, sipped tea and never thought about my father, or law school. I returned to the States in May, graduated from college and went to work in higher education.

I worked for my alma mater and was happy as a clam. I loved what I did and the people I worked with. But this all changed when my father came back into my life.

Ok, so I know I left you hanging. But this is only half of the story. I promise more, so tune in for the rest!