I Lawyer, What do You Do?

So, i linked up with two fellow DFW bloggers last week and shared why I became a lawyer, part 1. I promised you all I would share part 2. So, in case you missed last week, catch it here, before you read below. This was part 2 in a 2 part post way back in December 2011 on why I became a lawyer. Enjoy.

So if you haven't read last Friday's post, now would be the time. So, I left off Friday working for my alma mater and my father reappearing... So I'm sure you all are familiar with sites such as classmates.com and the like... well this is how my father found me. One day I was sitting on the couch checking my email and BAM! (totall Emeril moment) there was an email from him.

At first I was in shock... I mean this has go to be a joke, right? No, it was him. Thanks classmates.com.... I did not know what to do, to tell you the truth. Part of me was angry, part scared, part sad... I had a rush of emotion. I reverted back to the days of if you do not acknowledge your problem it will go away... So I ignored it. I pretended the email did not exist and went on about my life for a couple of weeks. I talked to my then boyfriend, now husband about it. I decided to answer the email. I mean come on, its email people. But there was still this part of  me that was so scared he would just show up at my doorstep. I mean what would I do then?

I answered his email and we excanged a few back and forth. Nothing extensive and I was always brief. I mean I was busy. I was in the middle of pageant prep, working full time, and just trying to pay bills. I did not need any more stress in my life. I didn't tell anyone about this. Of course he wanted to see me and tell me how sorry he was etc... blah blah... I did not want to hear it, I was mad, ok beyond mad, i was angry, I hated him. I blamed all the crappiness of my life on him. I was finally standing on my own two feet for the most part and did not need the sperm donor to come back into my life and ruin things.

As the months went by I kept on with m pageant prep and working happily away...  I did not think anyone noticed that I was stressed, on edge and in  general just not a nice person. My boss did. She was worried about me. I told her it was just pageant stuff getting in my head. I mean come on, I had people telling me what to eat, what to wear, how to act 24/7.. that alone was enough to get to someone. I went to some counseling and everything seemed to get better. No one was the wiser of the other the pressure in my life. Well, pageant came and went. But I realized during that strenuous week that I needed a change. I was not this scared person I was pretending to be all this time. I had goals, wants, dreams....

I'm sure my family and friends thought I just woke up one morning and said ok law school now. But it was more than that. I finally had this person back in my life, kind of, and I realized that the reason I left law school dreams in the dust was because I was scared. What if I wasn't good at it? What if I failed? But most of all, what if I couldn't help someone like me. I decided to stop living in fear and comfort, and go for it. I was 25 years old and if I didn't do it then, I never would. So I took an LSAT prep class and went for it.

I told only a few people. I wrote about my father and my life for my personal statement. I wanted to do more with my life, I wanted to help people. I wanted justice in the world. I wanted to speal for people who had no voice. I wanted to be someone's hero. I knew that people did things they were ashamed of and knew were wrong, but that did not mean they were bad people. They deserved just as much of a change as anyone. Because had no one given me a change there is no clue where I would be today. I am who I am because people were not scared to take a chance on me. I applied to schools in and out of state and waited.

I look back now and realize that it was fear that held me back. I was so afraid of people getting to know me, the real me. I feared if they knew my past, they would discredit my future. I did not think anyone would want... me. The one with the crappy childhood. Who grew up with an incarcerated father. Who lived through fights, near-eviction, who saw her single mother struggle to give her kids the best she could. But the truth is, that most people don't care, and those who let that define a friendship are not friends at all.

So that's it! I went off to law school, graduated and started working. (well there is a lot more to the story, but that's for like the next 50 posts...) Am I doing exactly what I want to do, no. But do I love it, yes! I am learning everyday how to perfect my craft. See, it doesn't matter what kind of law you practice, because it still teaches you invaluable skills. Someday I would love to work on capital murder cases. I want to be the voice for the people. Innocent until proven guilty. But until then, I help people in other ways. Someone asked me if I was selling out by working for a civil defense firm. NO. I am still helping people. The practice of law is all about problem solving. Whether its for a person or business... Everyone deserves good representation and advice. I continue to work for the things I believe in in other ways.

I was a voice for domestic violence when I competed in pageants, I am a walking example that statistics do not define who you are and who you will become. It goes to show that hard work and dedication pay off. The road is not easy, but the road leads you wherever YOU take it.