For me, life happens when I think I have it finally figured out or under control, or stable. Then, life happens. I woke up this morning with resolve on the some decisions and knowing that no matter what happens, I am not alone and He will provide. I had a small sense of relief. Then I read my blog roll. I was shocked and saddened to read of my friend Jessica's loss of a pregnancy. Its instances like hers that make you wonder why. She is the sweetest, most loving friend, wife and mother I know. I ache for her. And last night, my small group prayed for a friend who lost her baby at 35 weeks. 35 weeks. One minute healthy baby and the next gone. Life.
I think Life is one of the many reasons people fear God, religion and the church. They snark and say, if He exists, He wouldn't let thinks like this happen. That old adage is so easy to buy into. I too have had my times of disbelief, questions and struggles. Its hard to see His plan.
Its had been hard for me to see His plan as of late. I have been so wrapped in confusion, doubt and fear. I yearn for stability and the ease of life, yet He pushes me constantly towards change, challenges and risks. I struggled with what I want versus what is good for me. But, I have realized that all the struggles, weighing of pros and cons, internalization and just flat out worry don't do you any good either.
Life happens. It happens even when you wish it wouldn't. It comes suddenly and without warning. It pushes you to your limits and outside your comfort zone. And life comes with risks, scary as they may seem, they can also come with great reward.
Everyone is struggling with something. We're humans and its out very nature. I urge you to have faith. Be guided by that little voice on your shoulder, or in your gut. Do not let your life be led by fear, anger or worry. Yes, grieve when its sad and be angry when your are wronged, but do not let that rule. Life is short and precious and confusing as all get out!
I too, wanted to rail out and scream at God when I read Jessica's post. It just was so heartbreaking and like you said, she's such a gem.
ReplyDeleteBut, I also agree, that life happens and we unfortunately have to roll with it. We can fight it and be angry and negative, or we can pray, have hope and faith that the peak is there waiting for us after the valley.
I know you're peaks coming lady!!!! I love you a bazillion, BOFF!
*GAH, YOUR!
DeleteI felt the same way that you did when I saw Jess' news. I'd also just read a story from a girl I went to HS with, about her husband's death from cancer. It's scary and heartbreaking, overwhelming and just confusing. But, it's those things that make you cling to faith....there has to be a reason or some other purpose for these things. I struggle with worries, etc like so many people do, but it's been my personal goal to lessen those, and learn to let go...of worries, negativity, etc. The things you hold onto like that only bring them closer I think, and take away bits of the joy in amazing things.
ReplyDeleteI know you've been through a lot lately....have faith that it will work out the way it is supposed to. There's a plan for you...you just might not know what it is yet :)
Thanks for the reminder to just put it all in perspective! Sometimes I tend to get lost in the shuffle and craziness of life and forget what is important.
ReplyDeleteSo much sadness this week! My friends wife passed away last week and they were only married for 6 years. She was in her 40's. My husbands friend lost his wife last week to cancer. Now to hear of your blogger friends loss. Its too much sometimes but we have to continue our faith and Believe in Him.
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