Future!

Yup, this is seriously posted to my monitor in my office. Its from my secretary. To most its a sweet message reminding me that I have so much to live for, that my past is just that and my future is yet to done.

Its this word that drives me. Future. It also scares me. The future is that unknown universe we cannot control. Its wonderful and beautiful, yet scary and fear all rolled into one.

As I sat at City Group last night listening to our family share God's word with each other, I made a vow--I vowed to let Him win. Win might be a bad word choice, but it makes sense in my head. He is supreme--think about it, He is supreme over all. Crazy huh? We do not have to him and haw over choices and decisions because He does it for us. He gives us the tools we need to live life according to plan.

This is hard for me--the planner. I have had my life "planned" out since I was err ummm 5? I had this dream of life at 30--married, good job, house, dog(s), and kids. I had this view of this glorious life that I would lead because I had worked hard for it and designed it to end this way. I spent so much time and effort forcing and pushing and sacrificing to get this plan and to keep it on track. I went against what I knew was right and good for me and focused on the trees instead of the forest of my life.

I worshipped materialistic wants instead of His wants for me. It seems so simple, I know--just give it all up to Him and life will live itself out how it was designed. yeah I know, not so easy. We are tempted daily to divert, worship false idols (shoes, purses, etc...) and control that which we inevitably have no control over. We force ourselves into a state of panic and stress when things "fall apart." We get caught up in the little things that step in our way instead of stepping backwards and marveling at the grandeur of life.

I am guilty of this. I have dwelled on the pain of the past 5 months of my life instead of looking at what good and awesome things I have been given. I have been given His word, shared with me by His messengers. I have been provided a new start surrounded by a family of believers and a family of people who love me. I have a job where I am living out His plan; two precious pups who bring joy and show me the simplicity of green grass and sunshine on my tummy; Christian women who are showing me what a marriage is, what a wife is and how to be whole again through Him; a loving man who is walking the steps with me each day, leading with a gentle hand, forgiving heart, and patient mind; and V&D who God has blessed me with to show me the glory of love and unconditional support.

God is good. Today is good. Future looks good.