Back on Track

If I have said it once I have said it a fazillion (yes fazillion) times... I need to get my a$$ back on track. I used to be a self-confessed health nut. I was a lil obsessed with the gym and not putting anything bad for me (well other than cheat days) in my body. And, then I began to work full-time instead of going to school, I spent 2.5-3 hours in a car a day and sit.... all.day.long. I began to snack, then I was depressed, then I got divorced. I just gave up.

Then I began to have a life again and my diet went out the window. Sure I still worked out and tried to eat relatively healthy, but I allowed myself for cookies, ice cream, bread, etc... than I had in the last 7 years. I had muffins, butter with bread, hummus galore... and it took its toll. My clothes fit, but not as well and then well I became even more depressed. Let's just get it out there, I hate/d my body.

Am I fat, umm no. I know that 100%, but am I where I feel comfortable, gorgeous and healthy? no. That is something I can take care of. So... here's to getting back on track. I also have a huge reason to... I leave for the beach in 20 days! Yes, you heard me, in 20 days I will be laying on the beach in Mexico with drink in my hand, book in the other and a wonderful  man by my side.

So, I stalked my fridge and panty with the essentials of my "I used to be a pageant girl and know how to diet" food and began last night. Broiled cod, broccoli and sugar-free cheesecake mousse for dessert. My goal, 5-8 pounds in 20 days. Yeah I know its kind of a huge goal, but.... I know I can do it. It means lots of runs, weights and pretty much just keeping my diet in check. I know its the next step in taking control of my life and getting back to being the best me I can be.

In other news here's what my weekend consisted of:

Yup, 100 degrees in the LBK

My fav place to eat there

Texas Tech School of Law

She's 16? What?

Duh, of course there was twirling...

What my dogs were doing... Thank you Catie & Frank for watching them

E & Me at the wedding #blessed

Yes, this man endured 8.5 hours of driving,  a wedding, Lubbock, and meeting a gazillion people who have known me since I was 3.

We missed you mom!

Finding Superman

"faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound"

After yesterday's post I sat down and reread all your sweet comments. Thank you. Thank you for supporting me and letting me have this outlet. Thank you for allowing me to share a piece of me with you all each day. I strive to be real and raw. Its not always easy, but who said life was supposed to be. But the more I thought about  my past the more I thought about my future.
As women begin planning our weddings as little girls. We think about the dress, the cake, what it will be like to be a wife and a mom. We want the American dream. We want the perfect day where we get to be the princess and look beautiful. We want GI Joe, Ken, and Superman all rolled into one. We dream of this perfect man waiting there for us who will become our future husband. He is tall, dark, handsome, perfect job, falls in love with us instantaneously and does all the right things. He knows when we are upset, sad, picks out the perfect gift and always knows what to say to make us feel better. Yup... Superman. He is rough and aggressive, yet brave, kind-hearted with a strong sense of justice, morality and righteousness. He is the ideal. This is what women are taught is what we should find. Its not wonder men think women are crazy. We have been looking for this man who just does not exist. We want to form men into this perfect ideal. We fantasize and when we can't find this "man" we begin to think there is something wrong with us. Men aren't perfect, women aren't perfect, and no relationship, or marriage is perfect for that matter. So, as I enter this new stage of my life I sat down to think about my ideal, my Superman. He's not perfect. He comes with his own "baggage", his own past. He will have good days and bad days. He will disappoint me, frustrate me, leave the toilet seat up, forget to make the bed and be able to eat ice cream every day without gaining a pound. He is imperfect though.
But, he will be honest with me, open, vulnerable. He will seek Christ everyday. He will hold my hand and love me when I'm having a fat day. He'll never understand why I have those fat days though. He will accept me for who I am-- my past, my present and my future. He will understand that I am imperfect just like him. I come with baggage and wear my heart on my sleeve. He will see me when no one else does. He will make the effort. He wants to see me every chance he can. He says he's sorry. He respects me, my thoughts, and my drive. He sees the independent woman who is really a little girl at heart. He will walk hand in hand with me and lead me on the journey of life. Like Superman, he will appear when you least expect him, but need him the most. So, Ill wait patiently, not as a damsel in distress, but as a confidant woman waiting for Him.
10 Things That Make Me Happy
Flowers just because

1. City Group
2. Having a great group of Christian women in my life
3. Cookies
4. Chloe and Sophie
5. A good book
6. the beach
7. finding the answer to a complex research issue
8. the perfect  text message at the right moment
9. Knowing I get to live each day because of Him