There Are No Words

Well, there are words because I am typing them, but honestly I am a little remiss to write. Between the work day that had my crying one minute to laughing hysterically with my paralegal, I am exhausted. I have so many emotions bottled up and I would love to just blurt them all out and vent and share with you guys, but this is perhaps not the best forum for some of my emoting.

 

I can tell you, however, that the critter, yes that one, the one that has been haunting my life made its first official, as in I actually saw it, appearance last night. I was sitting there watching Grey's via DVR when I looked over, and saw I scurry up the door to my laundry room. Yup, you heard me climb right up the door.

 

I, needless to say, freaked. This thing has been terrorizing my life for over a month. I have paid some critter guy $539 to do nothing. My exterminator does not come til next week and I have been living with a rodent that eats my food and my dogs' food and generally keeps me up at night. So, what did I do? Burst into tears. Yup, just sat on the couch and cried. I am beyond disgusted, frustrated and just at my wit's end on this one.

 

I also managed to turn into a complete B about 3 minutes later as I stormed out of my house headed to Wally World to buy whatever I could find. Yup, I drove to the Wal-Mart across town that scares me to death and the air outside always has a scent of weed in it to buy stuff. I was frustrated.  And in that moment of frustration and utter exhaustion, I called M. I cried to him. (Hindsight, take his number out of my phone.) I panicked. I was mad and upset. I called another friend who calmed me down and walked me through the rodent killing options. I decided on one of everything.

 

I was reminded of the wonderfulness that is Wal-Mart at 11pm though at the checkout when I saw a lady screaming her debit card pin at her kid, another lady's showing full plumber's crack and then there was me. I had poison, glue traps and this thing you plug in that emits a high frequency sound and eggs. Yes I was out of eggs might as well grab some.

 

I returned home to plot my attack. I laid out the poison, plugged in the things and set the glue board. Only to hear it eating the 4 morsels of kibble the pups left in their bowls 5 minutes later. I got up, removed the dog bowls and set poison right there. (don't worry the girls were safely locked in my room so they could not ingest anything).

 

I have had it! If anyone can please tell me how to rid my house of this unwelcomed guest I would greatly appreciate it.

Day 18: I know I have not been good at keeping up with this but here we go. This past year has taught me that I want to be taken care of. I want to be held, told its ok, have things fixed for me, done for me, someone else to say don't worry Ill take care of it. I have been so independent my whole life and feel like I can't let anyone do better than me (its a control thing), but I need this. I need to come home and just be taken care of sometimes. Dinner on the table, bubble bath, wine, flowers, my favorite girly movie, anything. Obviously I know these things are not going to happen since I live alone and the dogs can't cook, but I want them, I need them and its OK. I do not have to constantly be strong, seem strong and take on the world.