Listen

Its in those quiet moments that you can hear it. Sometimes it shouts at you and other times its so quiet of you breathe too hard you will miss it. It speaks to you, if you listen. When you find this inner voice, and I don't mean you know it exists and you  acknowledge it, but push it aside, I mean when you really listen to it, embrace it, live it, you are freed. When the voice inside your head and heart becomes the voice within your soul and it speaks melodious tones from your lips, you are You.

I was having a drink with a friend of mine last night, and as we talked and shared Christ's love with each other I heard it. It was faint. As our conversation progressed, we reminisced on how we met each other and how it was all apart of God's grand design. He knew before we did that someday the two of us would be sitting there having this conversation. He knew it would be this moment when I understood. He loves me. He suffered and died so that we did not have to. He grants us peace and forgiveness no matter what--His love is unconditional.

Which led me to love. Such a small word with so much meaning. Love, something we search for our entire lives. We do whatever we can to find it, and even more to keep it. We have this preconceived notion of what we think love is, what is looks like, acts like and feels like. We imagine it in places its is not found and force it when its not truly there. We lose ourselves in it. We lose ourselves to it.

So, later that evening when I was home alone and had time to reflect I heard it again. He was telling me its ok. Its ok to grieve, its ok to be scared and confused. Its ok to cry and be sad. See, He would heal all of these in me. I found so much clarity when I listened. I realized that when you truly give your life to Him you do not need to worry because he will provide. He will guide you, hold you, show you how to live. Its not easy and we each falter and stumble (believe me). He will always give you what and who you need in order to follow His plan for you. His plan. His grand design. Much like he gave me my sweet friend that summer, He is now giving me peace. He is showing me the love I have always craved and wanted. He is showing me what it means to be loved and shown true love. I did not have to chase it, force it, or will it--He gave it to me freely when I needed it the most.

So, what did I hear? I heard that I am a precious creature of God. I am strong beyond measure, and I have a voice, My voice and its powerful and can do great things. It should not be stifled or quieted, I should not be afraid of the words it speaks and others should Listen.

Come and hear, all you who fear God;
let me tell you what he has done for me.
I cried out to him with my mouth;
his praise was on my tongue.
If I had cherished sin in my heart,
the Lord would not have listened;
but God has surely listened
and has heard my prayer.
Praise be to God,
who has not rejected my prayer
or withheld his love from me!

~Psalm 66:16-20

 

And for those of you who need something a little more tangible:

Listen

Listen

I have done a lot of this lately. Listening. I have listened to my family, friends, counselor, head, and heart. I have listened to everyone, but myself. Sometimes you turn off the voice inside your head that knows you best. Sometimes its easier to turn outward than reflect inside and listen to what you need. I have also not listened to Him. So, basically, I have turned off the two voices that know me the best. Well, after many long runs early in the morning and thoughtful self-reflection I have found my voice. It is not always loud, sometimes I have to sit quietly and be still to hear it, but its there--buried beneath work and obligation hides my voice.

Today is a new beginning. It marks the end of the era where I sit idly by and wait for the world to turn around me. No longer will I cast aside my needs for someone else. I will not be led by obligation, but by love. I will sing a new song, begin a new chapter, heck I may even start writing the new book of my life.

I have been criticized a little by people for suddenly becoming Godly or for sharing my faith via facebook, twitter, and even here on this blog. So, if you do not like what I have to say, don't listen, or read. If you do not want to hear my message, don't follow me. If you have cruel words, do not comment. I do not judge you, so don't judge me. This is my blog, my thoughts, my life--no one asked those of you who chose to be negative to weigh in.

Yes, I am beginning a new journey. The road is sure to be bumpy, but support me, don't judge me. Raise me up, don't use harsh words. I promise the blog will not be all God and no fun, but I am choosing to let Him back into my life so that I can live a more fulfilled life. Like it or leave it!

Meanwhile, since this is the week of Beyonce, I leave you all with my mantra for the week: