I'm That Awkward Person I hate

I shy away from confrontation, would rather leave a memo in someone's box than hand it to them in person, I tell random stories that make no sense. I am random, awkward associate! (hand me a pink cape and brand me with an 'A') Ok, so maybe its not me that is awkward, maybe I am avoiding those awkwards moments in a partner office where I'm not sure if they want me to explain what I found or they just want me to hand them the research and leave. It's the internal debate I have when I approach their closed doors and ask myself, ok so do I knock and risk interruppting them, or do I just wait until they emerge and risk a weird conversation where I put myself out there and hope not to be wrong! I cave, I place the memo in their box and see if they respond.

I know I should be more assertive, but that is just not me. I think its my fear of rejection. I hate that feeling that I have done something wrong or that my work is sub-par. In my old life and job I didn't really have that same fear. Perhaps its because my bosses were women and I had worked with them since I was 18. Or that I was confident in my work, I knew what I was doing. Here, I'm still unsure and constantly wondering if I have totally screwed up. I mean, this job costs people money, etc... my old job was events and such (little less to lose.)

So I know I need to gain confidence and just walk in like I own the place, but until then I will sheepishly knock on doors and leave memos in in-boxes.